News from the BBC's football website this morning is that Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon wants David Beckham to stay at the Bernabeu.
Fair enough. Beckham is world sport's biggest cash cow, and his teats have not yet been suckled dry (if you'll pardon the hideous metaphor).
But what I can't allow to pass without comment is Calderon's assertion that Becks 'is a genius on and off the pitch and a wonderful person in every sense.'
A genius on and off the pitch? No, that is just wrong.
Beckham is a footballer who has made the most of a couple of wonderful footballing attributes - his excellent passing and an ability to curl a free-kick round a defensive wall into the top corner of the goal.
George Best, discussing Golden Balls' abilities, famously said: 'He can't kick with his left foot, he can't tackle, he can't head the ball and he doesn't score many goals. Apart from that, he's all right.'
Although Beckham makes my list of most irritating people, alongside Tony Blair, Jamie Oliver and Gillian McKeith, I'm prepared to acknowledge that he is a useful player.
But to describe him as a genius on the pitch would be overstepping the mark by a considerable margin - he's a hard-working player who can pass accurately.
Calderon's description of him as a genius OFF the pitch is even more ridiculous. Anyone who has ever heard his mono-syllabic, pre-scripted interviews could come to the quick assumption that he's pleasant and almost likeable in a naive way, but no rocket scientist.
Still, he's the richest footballer in history, so I'm sure he's not too fussed that he can't do algebra. And he'll probably be wooed by Calderon's over-the-top proclamations.
Which will hopefully mean he'll never return to British football, and we'll be spared the accompanying media circus that follows his every move.
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