The tale of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde may be more than 100 years old, but the idea of one person having two distinct personalities remains valid today.
Take Montrose Football Club as an example. The last time I saw them, they were thoroughly walloped by a rampant Peterhead side, capitulating with barely even a whimper.
Today they went toe-to-toe with (then) champions elect Rangers, a side wilfully spunking thousands of pounds a week on strikers and the barbaric midfield partnership of Ian Black and Lee McCulloch as they look to steamroller all before them en route back to the top of the Scottish game.
On paper, this should have been no contest. But as I've said before, matches at Links Park aren't played on paper, they're played on a Brillo pad, and anything can happen.
Rangers, missing a few players through injury, started with only one up front, Kane Hemmings given the task of breaking down a creaky Montrose defence.
Montrose, missing Mary Shelley's Paul Lunan through suspension, played trialist Cammy McDonald alongside Alan Campbell at centre back. I actually played with McDonald, formerly at Livingston and Airdrie, in amateur football almost a decade ago, and I can safely say he is the only player who played today that I have nutmegged.*
Anyway, Rangers could have been out of sight early on, David Templeton, once again their best player, coming close on a number of occasions but kept at bay by goalkeeper John Gibson and right back Stephen McNally.
But the longer the match went on, the better Montrose looked. For being a full-time side spending more each week in wages than most SPL sides, Rangers looked distinctly average, and it wouldn't have been easy at first glance to tell which side did football for a living and which did bricklaying, accountancy and office work.
I grew up idolising the Rangers team of Gascoigne, Laudrup, Durrant and McCoist. Not one of the Rangers players today would have got near that squad. It's painful to see Ian Black wearing what used to be Gazza's shirt, an absolutely heartbreaking gulf in class hammered home every time he shanked a pass into touch then blamed someone else. The only miracle was that both he and Terry Masson avoided bookings today.
In fact, the most interesting thing Black did all day was fly into the Montrose dugout headfirst after a challenge. He took a while to emerge, and I feared for a moment or two that he'd been eaten by Big Mad Lee Wilkie and George 'The Animal' Shields.
They may be champions, but this has not been a vintage year for Rangers. They should have romped to the Division Three title, but they aren't even Scotland's first champions of the season, beaten to the punch by Queen of the South in the division above.
Nonetheless, Queen's Park's defeat later in the day meant that Rangers were confirmed as champions in unspectacular fashion. It'll be good to see the back of their travelling pantomime in Division Three, and we can get back to enjoying football for football's sake. The overzealous policing and stewarding at Links Park for both of Rangers' visits this season has been a joke, and the media circus that has followed them has been excruciating to be a part of.
Take today's overheard conversation:
Media Wanker Talking Loudly Into Mobile Phone: "Yeah, so the Rangers team is: [reads out Rangers team into mobile phone. Discusses Rangers formation for five minutes, including players who aren't even in the squad]. Do you want the Montrose teams? I doubt anyone cares. You can get them off ESPN if you want them."
[Person on other end speaks for a few seconds]
MWTLIMP: "Haw haw haw, Montrose are playing a trialist at centre back! This is fucking ridiculous!"
[Person on other end speaks for a few seconds]
MWTLIMP: "No, no idea what his name is, sorry. No-one will care."
Well, I'm guessing that Rangers will care a bit more than that massive bellend did, given that McDonald was probably the most comfortable player on the park, giving an assured and confident performance in the face of the most expensively-assembled squad in SFL history.
The travelling support might have cared a bit more about Martin Boyle as well if his second half goal hadn't been disallowed for a foul on Neil Alexander.
As I was leaving the ground, I heard two Rangers fans in discussion, the gist of which was: "Montrose's number seven should have been sent off. Did you see him celebrating at the end? Obviously a bitter Celtic fan."
Which smacks of the sour grapes more often associated with the green half of Glasgow. A part time player castigated for celebrating a result against the biggest club in Scotland? Get a grip. And for the record, I believe Masson is a Rangers fan.
Montrose looked the better team in the second half, Winter coming close with a couple of long-range efforts, while Lloyd Young and Paul Watson also went close. Rangers could have snatched the win with efforts from Templeton or Hemmings, the latter having a shot well saved by Gibson.
From a Montrose perspective, today was a strong performance, and they didn't look cowed by their more illustrious visitors. Stephen McNally was given a torrid time by Templeton, but persevered, and the defence in general coped well.
From a Rangers perspective, today raises further doubts about the mental toughness of the Rangers squad and the tactical capabilities of its manager. I'm most certainly in the pro-McCoist camp, but when you're held to goalless draws two weeks in a row in Division Three, there are clearly big problems.
If I was in charge at Rangers, I'd be rebuilding that horror show of a defence, keeping only Wallace. Ian Black would be first out of the door - there can rarely have been such a disparity between talent and earnings in the Scottish Football League.
Rangers definitely missed Andy Little, and with him in the team it would probably have been a different story. But the lack of depth in the Rangers squad should definitely be ringing alarm bells.
Man of the Match: For Rangers, it was Templeton, their most creative player by a country mile, shaming his elders Black and McCulloch (again played too deep to make use of his [searches for euphemism for hammer-throwing] combative skills. Templeton's an exciting talent, and learning to cope with the rugged defending at this level will stand him in good stead in future.
For Montrose, all of the players performed. Terry Masson was disciplined on the right in the first half, before moving inside to shackle Black in the second. David Gray kept Montrose's attacking momentum going throughout the match. But for me, Cammy McDonald excelled on his one and only appearance for the Gable Endies, marshalling the defence and keeping Kane Hemmings under wraps throughout, while also seeking the ball at every opportunity and passing with authority.
*Disclaimer: I nutmegged him in training. He emptied me immediately afterwards by way of warning not to do it again.
