tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-337999182024-03-19T04:51:43.675+00:00Groanin' JockFrom East to West and back again, but still Groanin'.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.comBlogger1004125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-85405838547263163312017-06-23T14:25:00.001+01:002017-06-23T14:26:08.194+01:00Anker Powerline+ Lightning CableI was recently looking for a new cable to charge my Apple devices.<br />
<br />
Fortuitously, Anker offered me a free sample of their Powerline+ lightning cable.<br />
<br />
The cable arrived quickly and well packaged.<br />
<br />
The 6ft cable is grey and feels solid - it feel as though it would take a lot to break it, which is comforting - too often I've snapped a cheap cable without using too much force.<br />
<br />
The Anker cable charges my Apple devices - iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch - very quickly - much faster than with the supplied OEM cables.<br />
<br />
I highly recommend the Anker Powerline+ lightning cable.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-80629453853894670992016-07-23T20:41:00.001+01:002016-07-23T20:41:23.348+01:00Season 2016/2017 - Match 2: Montrose 0-2 Alloa Athletic (Betfred League Cup - Group D)Three games played; five goals conceded; one goal scored; no League Cup points; two of the starting back four crippled.<br />
<br />
On paper (or computer screen, whichever you prefer), Montrose's season has so far been a disappointment.<br />
<br />
But as the matches are played on grass or the Links Park Brillo pad, those stats don't tell the full story.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://groaninjock.blogspot.co.uk/2016/07/season-20162017-match-1-montrose-0-1.html">Against Ross County</a> they were unlucky to drop all three points to the Premier League team. By all accounts they were similarly unfortunate to lose to Kirkcaldy's finest when they played Raith midweek.<br />
<br />
Today was a different story, the best team winning relatively comfortably without ever truly shifting into the higher gears.<br />
<br />
Greig Spence opened the scoring in the 33rd minute, meeting a corner with a firm shot that bounced in off a Montrose defender.<br />
<br />
They doubled their advantage in the 50th minute when the unmarked Izaac Lyle stooped to head home from Steven Hetherington's cross.<br />
<br />
Having already lost their opening two matches, Montrose were unlikely to qualify from their inaugural League Cup group, giving Paul Hegarty the opportunity to experiment with a different line-up or formation.<br />
<br />
He didn't, selecting almost the same side as in the previous two matches, albeit with Graham Webster replacing the suspended Chris Templeman, the lanky striker having been shown a straight red at Stark's Park for dissent.<br />
<br />
Allan Fleming was given a chance in goals instead of Jordan Millar. He was comfortable enough and left largely helpless with both goals, where slack defending was the root cause.<br />
<br />
As usually occurs, Hegarty ignored his bench for most of the match, only rousing them in the 75th minute, when he took the frequent shouts of "Get the fucking subs on, Hegarty" literally and made a completely out of character triple substitution.<br />
<br />
The universe didn't take kindly to this bout of shenanigans and promptly invoked Murphy's Law. Two minutes after they used all three of their subs, Montrose's Bollowocky was clattered by Jon Robertson. He was carried off the park with an ankle injury, Robertson received a yellow card instead of the prison sentence his challenge merited and Montrose were down to ten men.<br />
<br />
With two minutes to go, Chris Hegarty appeared to catch his studs in the <strike>turf</strike> plastic and twisted his knee. He was screaming before he hit the ground and waving for the bench before the physios could reach him. He left the pitch on a stretcher, Montrose playing the final few seconds with nine men.<br />
<br />
Neither side was exceptional today. Alloa were deserving winners, but will need to be better against superior sides.<br />
<br />
Montrose struggled to create chances and still lack punch up front. Campbell works hard for little reward, while Fraser needs a faster strike partner to complement his industrious performances.<br />
<br />
How Montrose cope without the Bollowocky and Hegarty Jr in the coming weeks will be interesting, as both have become integral parts of the defence in the opening weeks.<br />
<br />
Next up, Cove Rangers at Forfar in the final League Cup match - time for a little experimentation.<br />
<br />
Man of the match: Montrose didn't create much of note and didn't defend especially well. There were no real stand-out performances for the home side, but Paul Watson continued as a commanding presence in the middle of the park.<br />
<br />
Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-37743165724024904852016-07-16T22:51:00.000+01:002016-07-17T12:20:34.620+01:00Season 2016/2017 - Match 1: Montrose 0-1 Ross County (Betfred League Cup - Group D)Less than a week since Euro 2016 limped to its 'climax', Montrose were back in competitive action.<br />
<br />
Helping to break the monotony of the school holidays were League Cup holders Ross County, beginning their defence of the trophy at the Basinside Bernabeu.<br />
<br />
Montrose welcomed Chris Hegarty back, the full back now having the nerve-wracking job of playing for his old man. For the first time, their starting line-up also included the Bollowocky, a creature invented by Lewis Carroll in 1871, famous for its consumption of white rabbits, March hares and Arbroath strikers.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwDdS4lcL-6k8Pc0Rtcf_ZWTNzmsmRpgSjy_VbSFEFOs7YDvTbiUf4Uq7CGiginopm3-LrDhMA4feiCVtfvMk8rjRze26JJ34nTJgf04V54_CHRLy46upJZ6BsVAhauogKvfQq/s1600/2book8-431x652.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwDdS4lcL-6k8Pc0Rtcf_ZWTNzmsmRpgSjy_VbSFEFOs7YDvTbiUf4Uq7CGiginopm3-LrDhMA4feiCVtfvMk8rjRze26JJ34nTJgf04V54_CHRLy46upJZ6BsVAhauogKvfQq/s320/2book8-431x652.jpg" width="211" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Michael Bolochoweckyj</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqTYHe3EeFwCwPusuArondFzx9spu3IFyX-XcyCux-L1fVNw1AtJ9-ZBzDSbsXE01rR2JrzAB3b13LFYFLG384dvtnazjua4dJefRPXl7Pf5ZE23NLJYNTouN1Sz5Puupm80KP/s1600/michael_bolo_jul15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqTYHe3EeFwCwPusuArondFzx9spu3IFyX-XcyCux-L1fVNw1AtJ9-ZBzDSbsXE01rR2JrzAB3b13LFYFLG384dvtnazjua4dJefRPXl7Pf5ZE23NLJYNTouN1Sz5Puupm80KP/s320/michael_bolo_jul15.jpg" width="223" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Bollowocky</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Montrose's notoriously sieve-like defence of last season looked much more robust than it did even a few weeks ago, the central pairing of Pascazio and the Bollowocky managing to keep fairly tight control over the visiting strikers. Between the sticks, Jordan Millar was in inspirational form.<br />
<br />
At the other end, County centre backs Eric Cikos and Jay McEveley spent the afternoon trying to reach the summit of Chris Templeman, usually by clambering up his shirt but occasionally utilising unorthodox kangaroo-inspired, head-first leaps.<br />
<br />
In the normal scheme of things, pishy Serie Z4 side Montrose would have been pumped by Premier League silverware holders Ross County, but today didn't pan out as planned.<br />
<br />
The match was all square until the 86th minute, when referee Craig Charleston awoke from his afternoon nap to award County a penalty, Brian Graham having flung himself over the Bollowocky's tail and earned a penalty. Graham stepped up to the spot and fired his kick low to Millar's left.<br />
<br />
The goal proved to be the winner, Montrose unlucky not to take at least a point from the holders. Had they managed to keep the scores level until full time we'd have been treated to a penalty shoot-out for a bonus point - such is the wacky inventiveness of the SPFL nowadays.<br />
<br />
Anyway, there were a few positives from this first competitive foray of the season. The previously porous defence looked much stronger - a back five of Millar-Steeves-Hegarty-Pascazio-the Bollowocky should be a meaner proposition than last season, if Hegarty can avoid too many suspensions.<br />
<br />
Templeman and Fraser lacked match sharpness - another week or two into the season and Fraser would probably have buried the chance he was given when sent clear through in the fifth minute. Templeman had a hard shift but lacked nothing in effort.<br />
<br />
Paul Watson was back to his demonstrative best in the middle of the park, and Kieran McWalter's exciting two-tone hairdo was matched only by his penetrating runs down the right.<br />
<br />
Early verdict - cautiously optimistic, even in defeat...<br />
<br />
Man of the match: Had it not been for the heroics of Jordan Millar in the Montrose goal, Ross County would probably have won this one by at least a couple. Now a permanent member of the Montrose squad, the former St Johnstone man should instil confidence in his defence as the season goes on.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-13931271664027044022016-05-15T01:36:00.000+01:002016-05-20T22:56:26.396+01:00The Stone Roses - All For OneGood things come to those who wait.<br />
<br />
Except they don't, do they?<br />
<br />
Ten years ago, no-one expected ever to hear new material by The Stone Roses. Even five years ago, it seemed unlikely - they'd hammer the arse off the nostalgia tour, then disintegrate with a whimper, John Squire's ego wrestling with Ian Brown's pride and Reni's disinterest to put an end to the reunion they'd all said could and would never happen.<br />
<br />
So anyone who says they've been waiting 22 years for All For One is a fucking liar. And anyone who claims it was worth a 22-year wait is trying far too hard.<br />
<br />
This is The Stone Roses in name only. There's none of the hushed psychedelia of their first album, none of the cocksure groove of their mid-period EPs, none of the thunderous Zep-aping rock swagger of their second incarnation.<br />
<br />
All For One is a Britpop anthem as written by men in their 50s who were never Britpop first time around. All of what made the Roses The Best Band In The World is missing, and instead we get a shrill, over-produced mess.<br />
<br />
The lyrics are dreadful - what few lyrics there are. "All for one, one for all, if we all join hands we'll make a wall" - didn't Pink Floyd spell out the dangers of that 37 years ago?<br />
<br />
I initially misheard the verse lyrics as: "A tragedy, a catastrophe", which would have been apt. It's actually some faux Flower Power guff that would have sounded trite in 1966, and just sounds embarrassing 50 years later.<br />
<br />
Musically, the biggest crimes are against the rhythm section. Mani's bass, a key component of the Roses sound, is barely audible.<br />
<br />
Reni, master of the indie breakbeat and a drummer second only to Ginger Baker in the pantheon of the greats, is made to sound like any bog standard, four beats in the bar, hit them hard indie drummer.<br />
<br />
John Squire's final howling guitar solo manages a late salvage job, but by then I'd all but given up.<br />
<br />
I stick by my initial assessment - that it sounds like The Fratellis. More specifically, like The Fratellis labouring over a Seahorses album track for 20 years.<br />
<br />
The internet enthusiasm for All For One has been baffling. Maybe people are just desperate to love it. Maybe they genuinely DO love it.<br />
<br />
But as the enduring popularity of Donald Trump, Ed Sheeran and Mrs Brown's Boys show, the general public aren't to be trusted with important decisions.<br />
<br />
(Says I, who heard it twice, didn't like it either time and immediately bought it on iTunes anyway.)<br />
<br />
I'm going to resort to parental cliché - I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.<br />
<br />
I certainly don't feel like I'm missing out by not seeing the Roses for a third time when they tour this summer.<br />
<br />
I can't envisage where All For One will comfortably sit in their setlist - unless it's going to be surrounded by more new songs of similar quality midway through the gigs.<br />
<br />
It was never going to live up to the expectation, and it continues the Stone Roses Law of Diminishing Returns.<br />
<br />
By the time of their Fifth Coming in 2045, their comeback single will be Ian Brown bludgeoning Michael Jackson's Billie Jean to death.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lRmuOe_jOGM">Oh... </a><br />
<br />Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-81551687636770132462015-04-25T21:47:00.001+01:002015-04-25T21:47:06.809+01:00The Groanin' Jock Montrose FC Player of the Year Award 2014/2015As I'll likely miss the playoff matches due to holidays, I'll not see Montrose again this season (and may not see them again in the SPFL).<br />
<br />
Which means that I can now announce that winner of the 2014/2015 Groanin' Jock Montrose FC Player of the Year is....<br />
<br />
....drum roll....<br />
<br />
...Stuart McKenzie.<br />
<br />
The goalkeeper has frequently been the difference Montrose losing by a single goal and utter annihilation.<br />
<br />
He was my man of the match five times this season, the only player to pick up the award more than once.<br />
<br />
The full list of contenders was:<br />
<br />
Stuart McKenzie 5<br />
Ewan Moyes 1<br />
Paul Watson 1<br />
David Banjo 1<br />
Marvin Andrews 1<br />
Leighton McIntosh 1<br />
Ross McCord 1<br />
<br />
McKenzie wins the award for the second consecutive season.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-55314536012178376542015-04-25T21:32:00.001+01:002015-04-25T21:32:19.515+01:00Season 2014/2015: Match 12: Montrose 2 Elgin City 1 (The Scottish Professional Football League Two) and Match 13: Montrose 0 Clyde 1 (The Scottish Professional Football League Two)Montrose, already consigned to the relegation playoff, have spent their last two home matches attempting to build some momentum ahead of that two-legged clash with either Brora Rangers or Edinburgh City.<br />
<br />
It was a success against Elgin City, Jordan Allan lashing a shot into the roof of the net smashing home a winner from 12 yards out after Darryl McHardy had equalised with a bullet header.<br />
<br />
There was neat passing, fast attacking, good cover in defence and a solid work ethic. And everything in the garden, if not quite looking rosy, was at least smelling fresher than it had in a long while (the humping of Arbroath excepted).<br />
<br />
Man of the Match: Ewan Moyes has generally flattered to deceive in a Montrose shirt, but against Elgin he was immense, leading the defence in a manner befitting the absent Marvin Andrews.<br />
<br />
But against Barry Ferguson's Clyde (as the club was officially renamed in August), they were back to their infuriating not quite worst but not far off.<br />
<br />
Garry Wood missed a sitter, Ross McCord was atrocious, Graham Webster tried and failed to fill Paul Watson's long-range shooting boots and Moyes looked easily rattled after his assured performance the previous week.<br />
<br />
David Marsh was left unmarked for the only goal of the game, and what might have been the last ever league match at the Basinside Bernabeu ended with a whimper rather than a team baring its fangs and going out fighting.<br />
<br />
There were scarcely any fans there, and those who did turn up were drowned out by the irritating stadium announcer, who continues to haver pish throughout the match, rather than confine his nonsense to the half time break.<br />
<br />
Montrose have a trip to Annan next week to prepare for the two most important matches in the club's history.<br />
<br />
And now...the end is near...<br />
<br />
Man of the Match: But for the positioning and shot stopping of Stuart McKenzie, Montrose could have lost by three or four today. Routinely Montrose's best player, McKenzie may be one of the deciding factors in the playoff matches.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-40420521862641368292015-04-05T08:53:00.001+01:002015-04-05T08:53:27.234+01:00Season 2014/2015: Match 11: Montrose 2 Queen's Park 2 (The Scottish Professional Football League Two)It's all but over.<br />
<br />
Unless Berwick Rangers lose their remaining four matches, and Montrose win all theirs with a 43-goal swing in the process, Montrose are destined to finish bottom of Scottish Serie Z4.<br />
<br />
They'll definitely face either Brora Rangers or Edinburgh City in a two-legged playoff in an attempt to keep their place in the league.<br />
<br />
If they lose it, the future of the club is at stake.<br />
<br />
The focus now has to be on building belief and momentum ahead of those matches.<br />
<br />
If Montrose play those matches in the same frame of mind as the first half of the match against promotion-chasing Queen's Park, there may be grounds for optimism. They looked determined, with Paul Watson, Scott Johnston, Garry Wood and Terry Masson driving the side forward at every opportunity. Up front, Wood's strike partner Jordan Allan looked creative and lively.<br />
<br />
They were worthy of their half time lead, Watson crashing a shot into the net from the edge of the box with visiting keeper Muir caught out of position.<br />
<br />
But they were behind within 15 minutes of the restart, Steeves scoring an own goal and Shaun Rooney firing into the bottom corner two minutes later.<br />
<br />
Montrose looked momentarily flustered, and under normal circumstances might have collapsed. But with Watson hollering encouragement at every opportunity, they kept plugging away.<br />
<br />
It paid off, a neat pass from Ross Campbell freeing Allan, his cross to the back post met on the volley by Wood.<br />
<br />
Stuart McKenzie kept Montrose in the match with a string of outstanding saves, and Allan was unlucky not to score himself with a series of lobs and shots.<br />
<br />
Maybe, just maybe, Montrose can drag themselves clear of the Highland League and oblivion...<br />
<br />
Man of the match: A few strong contenders - McKenzie was typically excellent in goal, Allan electric up front, Wood determined and Scott Johnston tireless down the right.<br />
<br />
I felt that the key performer for Montrose was Paul Watson, driving the side forward at every opportunity and chipping in with a well-taken goal.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-64986901223786958322015-03-08T10:16:00.000+00:002015-03-08T10:16:03.046+00:00Season 2014/2015: Match 10: Montrose 3 Arbroath 0 (The Scottish Professional Football League Two)And so the fightback begins.<br />
<br />
Yesterday's big Scottish coupon-buster (unless Rangers drawing 0-0 at Cowdenbeath is still considered unusual) saw Montrose trounce their fish-filleting inbred cousins from down the coast with an assured 3-0 win.<br />
<br />
This was a top-notch team performance. There were no weak links, even in areas of the park where one might consider such weak links to exist.<br />
<br />
There was a thunderous commitment to the cause that brought five yellow cards for the home side.<br />
<br />
There was assured possession of the ball, and a desire to push forward and pressure Arbroath at every opportunity.<br />
<br />
This was the first time I'd seen Montrose under Paul Hegarty and John Holt. Previous results under the new regime had suggested all was not well at Links Park, but the derby performance went a long way to instilling a smidgin of faith.<br />
<br />
Montrose took the lead in the 28th minute, Ross Campbell squaring the ball across the box for Graham Webster to take a touch a power the ball across Marc McCallum and into the top corner.<br />
<br />
They doubled their lead three minutes after the break, Garry Wood laying the ball off to Campbell for the former Forfar man to shoot into the bottom corner.<br />
<br />
And they completed the scoring four minutes later, Webster crossing to the far post for Scott Johnston to knock the ball down to Campbell for the finish.<br />
<br />
Arbroath had chances, but Stuart McKenzie was at his best to keep a series of long-range shots and free kicks at bay.<br />
<br />
Marvin Andrews marshalled the defence magnificently, Andrew Steeves had a solid debut and the midfield kept up the momentum for the duration of the match. The wingers in particular gave Arbroath a torrid time.<br />
<br />
There's still a long way to go - Montrose are four points and 32 goals behind Berwick Rangers at the bottom of Serie Z4, having played two games more. Elgin are five points ahead of Montrose with a goal difference 23 better than Montrose's, and have played three fewer games.<br />
<br />
Only East Stirlingshire are in the same ballpark when it comes to goal difference - they are six points ahead of Montrose having played one fewer match.<br />
<br />
It's going to be a hard slog for Montrose to drag themselves clear of the relegation playoff and potential oblivion. With eight games to go, every point and every goal is precious.<br />
<br />
Man of the Match: Ross Campbell has a decent shout, with two goals and an assist. While his touch may occasionally desert him, he never gives up and kept the Arbroath defence busy today.<br />
<br />
Graham Webster was equally tireless, keeping Arbroath pinned back in their own defensive third of the pitch and contributing a goal and a key role in Montrose's third.<br />
<br />
But for me, the key man yesterday was Stuart McKenzie, the goalkeeper keeping Montrose ahead with a string of saves and a magnificent command of his own area.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-56411123774566983512015-02-19T21:04:00.001+00:002015-02-19T21:04:38.643+00:00Season 2014/2015: Match 9: Hertha Berlin 0 SC Freiburg 2 (Bundesliga)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3IQLwMlyXF-B9rVk5UCbdDESPsdxkuK9QB5QzP1ERiYgizJp_XnpDM7bdp8J_f7mPQjOR_QzdI41aF1RH3j-1nTTA2_53sUy8uHpmVZ3Hr_-93SqLOHu1OJlvBiN90nkAKFI2/s1600/10989196_10153028923806007_6741550726837109822_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3IQLwMlyXF-B9rVk5UCbdDESPsdxkuK9QB5QzP1ERiYgizJp_XnpDM7bdp8J_f7mPQjOR_QzdI41aF1RH3j-1nTTA2_53sUy8uHpmVZ3Hr_-93SqLOHu1OJlvBiN90nkAKFI2/s1600/10989196_10153028923806007_6741550726837109822_n.jpg" height="360" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
The impending marriage of a good friend took me to Berlin last weekend, a trip that included my first live Bundesliga match.<br />
<br />
As stadiums go, the Olympiastadion is amongst the best I've ever visited. An imposing concrete facade hides a football cauldron that keeps the atmosphere inside the ground. Even the Olympic-standard running track doesn't hinder the view. The stadium is everything that Hampden should have been, instead of the not-fit-for-purpose mess that is our national stadium.<br />
<br />
A stroll around the ground took us past the track where Jesse Owens gave Hitler the finger at the 1936 Olympics, and there's a strong feeling that history has been well preserved in and around the ground.<br />
<br />
If the ground could teach Scottish football a thing or two, the quality of the play on the park suggested the opposite could be true. There was one Champions League winner on the park, in the shape of Salomon Kalou, but the quality of football was atrocious.<br />
<br />
Despite the noisy backing of a huge crowd of Ultras at the opposite end from us, Hertha Berlin had no shape, struggled to keep the ball and looked well off the pace. A better team than Freiburg would have destroyed them (Bayern Munich had recorded an 8-0 win over Hamburg the previous day).<br />
<br />
But luckily for the home side, the visitors were nearly as bad, which led to the sides playing out what looked like a Raith Rovers vs Falkirk match in a stadium fit for a World Cup final.<br />
<br />
Jens Hegeler, apparently a former Germany U21 international, is one of the worst players I've ever seen play topflight football - with every touch he either found the opposition keeper or hoofed the ball out of play.<br />
<br />
Both Freiburg goals came from scrappy Berlin mistakes, and the home crowd was justifiably pissed off at the final whistle.<br />
<br />
Still, at least they had massive bratwursts and litre-sized cups of beer to dull the pain.<br />
<br />
<br />Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-56486070407040923422015-01-25T21:32:00.000+00:002015-01-25T21:33:41.630+00:00Season 2014/2015: Match 8: Montrose 3 Albion Rovers 4 (The Scottish Professional Football League Two)I'm sorry.<br />
<br />
It was my fault.<br />
<br />
With the stopwatch showing 92:30, I turned round to my press corps colleague and said: "This is the first time I've seen Montrose pick up a point this season."<br />
<br />
Thirty seconds later Albion Rovers scored their winner.<br />
<br />
I should know better.<br />
<br />
(So should my press corps colleague, who celebrated Montrose taking a 2-0 lead inside 20 minutes as if Montrose had just won the Champions League.)<br />
<br />
As performances go, this was almost as good as I've seen Montrose in a long while. They were ahead after six minutes when Stephen O'Neil skipped through two challenges and curled a shot in off the post.<br />
<br />
O'Neil turned creator nine minutes later, sending the ball into the box for new signing David Banjo to turn and volley into the net.<br />
<br />
So far, so good.<br />
<br />
But Albion Rovers pulled a goal back in the 19th minute when a Montrose
corner broke down. The visitors launched a quick counter attack, Ross
Davidson feeding a pass to Mark McGuigan, the striker firing past home
goalkeeper Stuart McKenzie.<br />
<br />
Marvin Andrews, potentially the religious saviour Montrose need to drag them clear of relegation and oblivion, was the furthest forward Montrose player when the goal was scored. An attacking threat he may be at corners, but the team needs to defend better, and in numbers, when Andrews is acting as auxiliary striker.<br />
<br />
Rovers equalised in the 31st minute when McGuigan sent Gary Fisher's
cross over McKenzie's head and in off the underside of the crossbar.<br />
<br />
Six minutes into the second half, Montrose fell behind for the first time. McGuigan's cross to the back post was met on the volley by
Davidson, the ball flying back across goal and into the far corner.<br />
<br />
But Montrose refused to surrender, and found a way back into the match
in the 59th minute. Ross McCord controlled a bouncing ball on the edge
of the box, powered through a challenge and flicked the ball up for
Banjo. The midfielder controlled the ball on his chest before turning
and lashing a shot low past Neil Parry in the Albion Rovers goal.<br />
<br />
Although they looked to have done enough to secure at least a draw,
Montrose were denied a share of the points in the cruellest of fashions.<br />
<br />
Three
minutes into second half stoppage time, substitute Thomas McCluskey,
who appeared to be offside, beat Marvin Andrews deep in the Montrose
half. McKenzie managed to get a touch on the shot, but it wasn't enough
to prevent the ball rolling over the goal line to give Albion all three
points.<br />
<br />
For a Montrose team missing Paul Watson, Terry Masson (is he injured?), Stephen Day and Leighton McIntosh, this was an astonishingly coherent performance, and one that deserved at least a point.<br />
<br />
New signing Banjo was a revelation, and O'Neil showed great flashes of ability and creativity, begging the question why he hasn't been given more opportunities.<br />
<br />
But on the negative side, Adam Harwood looks well short of the required quality at centre back. While he's young and mobile enough to be a useful foil for the elderly and cumbersome Andrews. But where Andrews tends to exude a modicum of calm thanks to a masterful reading of the game and great positioning, Harwood frequently looks panicked and error-prone.<br />
<br />
The problem is that, when he was substituted, his replacement was Alan Campbell, which immediately reduced the pace of the centre backs to dangerous levels.<br />
<br />
While it's never going to happen, if Andrews is deemed a serious goal threat, I'd swap him and Garry Wood, putting the skipper at centre back and Andrews up front as a designated target man.<br />
<br />
Montrose were definitely worthy of a point yesterday. But the blunt fact is that they've only won five times in 22 league matches this season - only once since September - and if the teams below them win their games in hand, they're rock bottom of League Two.<br />
<br />
From what I can see on the park, it's not a case of if Montrose are relegated, it's a case of when. If they somehow survive this season, I don't anticipate them being able to compete with whatever team comes up from the Highland League or Lowland League.<br />
<br />
Without urgent and significant changes to the way Montrose Football Club is run and plays, I fear for its existence.<br />
<br />
Man of the Match: Stephen O'Neil had a strong claim, scoring one and creating another in a lively attacking performance.<br />
<br />
But David Banjo had a barnstorming debut, scoring twice with a pair of great strikes, and generally making a nuisance of himself throughout. Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-5418979799025054122015-01-10T17:44:00.001+00:002015-01-10T17:44:34.803+00:00Season 2014/2015: Match 7: Montrose 0 East Stirlingshire 1 (The Scottish Professional Football League Two)At half time today, the lights across Links Park were off.<br />
<br />
Although I'm talking literally, we may also soon be talking figuratively as well.<br />
<br />
I doubt that I was the only person who was hoping that today's match would fall foul of the weather - Arbroath's clash with Albion Rovers succumbed to the wind, and around lunchtime we experienced gale force gusts and a mini blizzard.<br />
<br />
But by kick-off, the sun was at least having a go and the sky was blue, allowing Marvin Andrews to make the 14th home debut of his long and winding football career.<br />
<br />
Andrews, 39, started in place of Alan Campbell, although the latter is nine years his junior. What Andrews lacks in pace, he makes up with a great positional sense and determination.<br />
<br />
If only the same could be said for the rest of the team. This was another abject performance against one of the teams fighting alongside Montrose to avoid relegation from the senior game.<br />
<br />
George Shields' sole tactic of having the defenders bypass the midfield and launch the ball beyond the static Garry Wood paid its usual dividend. The midfield, missing the injured Paul Watson and Stephen Day, struggled to gain a foothold, with only Terry Masson succeeding in keeping the ball for more than one touch at a time.<br />
<br />
But even the best manager wouldn't be able to legislate for the way Montrose conceded in the 59th minute. Under little pressure, centre back Adam Harwood gave the ball away to Shire's Ross Gilmour. He ran to the edge of the box and squared the ball to David Greenhill, who fired his low shot into the net.<br />
<br />
Nonetheless, I'm sick and tired of saying the same things every week. There's no progression; the players don't seem to learn from their mistakes; the coaching staff seem powerless to change anything; when they finally do resort to substitutions, it's too little and too late.<br />
<br />
If Montrose are to have any hope of staying in the Scottish Professional Football League, something needs to change, and very fast.<br />
<br />
Assuming that there is little to no budget for new players, it would seem that the change needs to made on the bench.<br />
<br />
Shields lost the backing of the fans weeks ago. He seems to be losing the players as well.<br />
<br />
Soon, Montrose could lose its team completely. If crowds are anything to go by, there's barely any appetite in the town for football as it is.<br />
<br />
If the club is getting horsed by Buckie, Cove, Golspie and Brora, I would think what little support there is would vanish completely.<br />
<br />
Man of the Match: This was another honking performance from Montrose. Only three players looked like something approaching the standard required - goalkeeper Stuart McKenzie, Terry Masson in midfield and Marvin Andrews at the back.<br />
<br />
I'd say Andrews was the best of the bunch, exuding calm at the back, his experience keeping him in the right place at the right time and his authority and determination at least trying to drive his teammates forwards. He was a threat at set pieces (the only occasions on which Montrose looked dangerous), and by the end he was effectively playing up front as the home side desperately sought a late equaliser.<br />
<br />
I hope Big Marvin is praying for Montrose - we're in dire need of some divine intervention now.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-39687160249686138542014-12-29T15:54:00.002+00:002014-12-29T16:01:57.716+00:00Top 10 Albums of 2014Top 10 albums of the year:<br />
<br />
1. Radio Moscow - Magical Dirt<br />
2. Swans - To Be Kind<br />
3. Kasabian - 48:13<br />
4. Jimi Goodwin - Odludek<br />
5. Pink Floyd - Endless River<br />
6. The Horrors - Luminous<br />
7. Jack White - Lazaretto<br />
8. Johnny Marr - Playland<br />
9. Aphex Twin - Spyro<br />
10. The War On Drugs - Lost In The DreamGroanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-16326382647742563762014-12-27T23:24:00.000+00:002014-12-27T23:24:03.489+00:00Season 2014/2015: Match 6: Montrose 2 Elgin City 3 (The Scottish Professional Football League Two)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEionmrU3LZ81PB7qb9gJ8f3rrO3Jkjvh8oDHduBTc1JQlnjnIaC9p3ygHceti3h_5QzPxcxs1hVDrAxehIZJ9JwRN8NjAIu83a4mCMj71RSoQ8OlO35KEBralTdW0MO2VCWF4cV/s1600/B541ZcTIUAIfPFl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEionmrU3LZ81PB7qb9gJ8f3rrO3Jkjvh8oDHduBTc1JQlnjnIaC9p3ygHceti3h_5QzPxcxs1hVDrAxehIZJ9JwRN8NjAIu83a4mCMj71RSoQ8OlO35KEBralTdW0MO2VCWF4cV/s1600/B541ZcTIUAIfPFl.jpg" height="320" width="285" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Freezing cold in the final minutes of today's match, my bollocks furiously burrowing their way into my lower intestines as they sought the tiny bit of warmth remaining in my body, my brain became so cold that I momentarily thought that Montrose were going to stage an unexpected fightback.<br />
<br />
Ross McCord had just curled a sublime free kick over the Elgin City wall and into the top corner, pulling the score back to 3-2 in the visitors' favour.<br />
<br />
But not even five minutes of injury time could re-inject life into Montrose's fight against relegation, and the slide towards a life of away trips to Brora, Wick and Nairn continues.<br />
<br />
Elgin should have gone in at half time with a five or six goal lead, but had to settle for two. Shane Sutherland, having noticed that Alan Campbell is slower than the movement of the tectonic plates, took it upon himself to tear Montrose's arthritic centre back a new rectal opening.<br />
<br />
The visitors' first goal came in the 16th minute, Sutherland bursting almost straight through Campbell and curling a shot onto Stuart McKenzie's post. The rebound dropped into the centre of the box, where Dennis Wyness was on hand to stab the ball into the net.<br />
<br />
They were two ahead in the 23rd minute, Sutherland again firing down the left and sending a cross into the box. The ball bobbled up and into the path of Montrose's Ross Graham, the defender unable to do anything other than watch the ball bounce off his chest and into the net.<br />
<br />
Sutherland and Wyness could each have had another brace, and Montrose could count themselves incredibly lucky still to be involved in the match at the end of the first 45 minutes.<br />
<br />
When the half time whistle blew, I was ready to add my voice to the chorus asking that George Shields find something else to do with his Saturday afternoons.<br />
<br />
But Montrose, presumably fresh from a severe half time bollocking, came out for the second half with a new-found intensity and purpose to their play. Paul Watson had a free kick tipped wide four minutes into the second half, and it took them only another minute to pull a goal back.<br />
<br />
Trialist Michael Travis headed the ball down from a corner and Garry Wood pounced, lashing a half volley into the net.<br />
<br />
Having pulled a goal back, Montrose's chances were further enhanced when Terry Masson rearranged Sutherland's skeleton for him, the best player on the park departing on a stretcher after an hour.<br />
<br />
Montrose continued to have the best of the match as the second half went on, even having a Jonathan Crawford equaliser ruled out for shirt-pulling that was invisible to everyone except the far side linesman.<br />
<br />
With two minutes of regulation time left, Sutherland's replacement Craig Gunn controlled the ball and rolled it straight through Campbell into the bottom corner.<br />
<br />
That was all the encouragement many of Montrose's fans needed to stage a mass exodus, but those who walked out missed Montrose's too-little-too-late final effort from McCord.<br />
<br />
Based on their second half performance, Montrose could well have been worth a point. Based on their first half showing, they were barely worth none.<br />
<br />
I'm not usually a believer in changing managers mid-season, but something at Montrose needs to change, and rapidly. The side could be bottom of the league if the results of Elgin's and East Stirlingshire's games in hand go against them.<br />
<br />
I've also been saying for the last wee while that Montrose have a good squad on paper, but now the tears in that paper can't be ignored. No-one in the defence looks particularly confident, and on days like today Campbell's lack of pace is a liability.<br />
<br />
McCord and Deasley aren't the players they were a couple of years ago. Johnston continues to work hard but rarely produces much of note. Garry Wood's workrate is exemplary, but he's given so little to work with that he's continually left stranded.<br />
<br />
Still, every cloud has a silver lining - it'll be nice to visit Golspie next February...<br />
<br />
Man of the Match: Counting Elgin as well as Montrose players, Shane Sutherland was miles ahead of everyone else up until he was Massoned. Hopefully the injury isn't serious.<br />
<br />
From Montrose's point of view, Leighton McIntosh looked bright up until he went off injured. But I'll go for Stuart McKenzie, without whom Montrose would have been dead and buried by half time.<br />
Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-60976241095289827692014-12-14T08:30:00.001+00:002014-12-14T08:30:23.453+00:00Season 2014/2015: Match 5: Montrose 1 Queen's Park 2 (The Scottish Professional Football League Two) I've now seen Montrose five times this season. Here's their record in matches I've been to:<br />
<br />
Played: 5<br />
Won: 0<br />
Drew: 0<br />
Lost: 5<br />
Scored: 3<br />
Conceded: 16<br />
<br />
Not pretty, is it?<br />
<br />
Montrose actually looked half decent yesterday, taking the game to the team sitting second in Serie Z4, and coming close through Garry Wood on a couple of occasions.<br />
<br />
But Queen's Park opened the scoring against the run of play in the 24th minute when John Carter was sent clear of the defence and slipped a low shot past Stuart McKenzie.<br />
<br />
They doubled their lead in the 36th minute thanks to schoolboy defending of the worst kind, Paul Woods heading home Darren Miller's corner at the back post, having been left completely unmarked.<br />
<br />
Montrose were given a lifeline in the 64th minute when Leighton McIntosh was tripped in the box, Wood making no mistakes with the penalty.<br />
<br />
But it was too little from Montrose, who remain 7th in the league, three points off the playoffs and six off the bottom of the table.<br />
<br />
Man of the Match: A year ago I'd have been happy to see Montrose cut Leighton McIntosh loose. He looked completely lacking in confidence, a yard off the pace and unable to pass the ball or score.<br />
<br />
A year on, he's like a different player. Playing on the right today, he was by far Montrose's best player, his pace giving Queen's Park problems throughout. With better finishing from Wood, he might have had a couple of assists, but he did win the penalty that led to Montrose's goal. Fast, determined and electric, if he can maintain that momentum the season may not be a write-off. <br />
<br />Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-15806748260824553922014-11-08T21:25:00.000+00:002014-11-08T21:25:01.838+00:00Season 2013/2014: Match 4: Montrose 0 Clyde 3 (The Scottish Professional Football League Two) A glutton for punishment, I was today accompanied by not one but two Jocklings at today's Montrose match, as I aimed for the perfect storm: two kids under the age of four, one in nappies and one currently obsessed with sampling as many toilets as possible; pishing rain; and the abject football served up by Montrose.<br />
<br />
In some respsects, it was good to have the Jocklings with me, as it meant I barely saw any of the football.<br />
<br />
I was on my way down the stairs en route to the toilets when Clyde scored their first after 35 seconds; I was wrestling open a packet of chocolate buttons when they scored their second; and when they scored their third in the second half, I'd forgotten we'd had the half time break, so applauded what I thought was a Montrose goal.<br />
<br />
What little I did see looked grim. Montrose struggled to keep the ball, Clyde dominating possession and powering forwards at every opportunity. For some reason Paul Watson was on the bench, while Alan Campbell is injured.<br />
<br />
Montrose played their third goalkeeper in as many matches, Stuart McKenzie still suspended and Lucas Birnstingl having run off to Canada before Lee Wilkie eats his spleen. Did I mention the new fella's first touch was to pick the ball out of the net after 35 SECONDS?<br />
<br />
On top of all that misery, I had Little Jocklette asking where Monty the Mole was and why there were no rainbow drops in the pie hut.<br />
<br />
Oh, and Barry Ferguson's hair makes him look like a sad, middle aged Tin-Tin tribute act.<br />
<br />
Man of the Match: Not a fucking clue.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-90597018968081578242014-10-25T22:18:00.002+01:002014-10-25T22:18:46.822+01:00Season 2013/2014: Match 3: Montrose 1 Arbroath 5 (The Scottish Professional Football League Two) Deja fucking vu.<br />
<br />
A fortnight between encounters, half an hour less of play, two more goals, one fewer goalkeeper by the end of the match.<br />
<br />
Despite the scoreline, Montrose were better today than they were a fortnight ago, although they could have played all day and struggled to score from open play.<br />
<br />
Arbroath passed up a fair few chances as well, but they did manage to score five. One was a penalty after Lucas Birnstingl was sent off for a late foul on Paul McManus. Having used their three substitutions already, Montrose put their biggest lump between the sticks, Garry Wood's first touch while wearing the keeper's gloves the unfortunate task of picking the penalty out of the net.<br />
<br />
He shipped a second (and Arbroath's fifth) in stoppage time as McManus added his second.<br />
<br />
Strangest goal of the afternoon came courtesy of former Montrose goalkeeper David Crawford. Div thumped a free kick from 10 yards outside his own box up the park, watching the ball bounce once and fly through Birnstingl's hands and into the net. The fact that the ball was moving in the wind when he took the kick was deemed irrelevant by both Crawford and referee Craig Charleston, but not by the Montrose bench, driven incandescent with rage.<br />
<br />
Montrose's only goal came from the penalty spot, courtesy of a soft award when Scott Johnston decided to lie down in the box near Arbroath's Kevin Nicoll. Wood made no mistakes from the spot.<br />
<br />
I can barely be bothered to analyse today's performance. Deasley looked livelier than I've seen him so far this season, and with better composure would have had a goal.<br />
<br />
Leighton McIntosh came on as a sub and looked better than he has in at least two years, while Wood was typically tireless up front.<br />
<br />
Defensively Montrose were a mess, leaving gaping holes at the back that Arbroath should have exploited much better than they did - Montrose could easily have been four goals down by half time.<br />
<br />
There were few highlights today. The most entertainment I had was trying to decipher what the new Links Park stadium announcer was havering about - I'm sure at one point he boldly stated that Montrose fans should "come and see Willy, he has great tattoos and a bottle of wine, tickets just £12".<br />
<br />
Which sounds like a better deal than watching Montrose get humped by Arbroath every second Saturday.<br />
<br />
Man of the Match: Slim pickings from Montrose. I thought Bryan Deasley looked good, finishing excepted, but I appear to have been in the minority there. Ross McCord looked better than he has for a wee while, with a bit of bite and purpose to his play. Choosing between the two, I'd go for McCord.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-71575752850292014072014-10-11T20:48:00.000+01:002014-10-11T20:48:56.333+01:00Season 2013/2014: Match 2: Montrose 1 Arbroath 3 (The William Hill Scottish Cup Second Round Replay) Since the last time I saw Montrose 'play football', I've been to Tokyo, Houston and London, occasionally working and occasionally seeing some of the finer things in life.<br />
<br />
Which means that this season I have seen 210 minutes of Montrose in action, seen them ship six goals, score one, have two men sent off and fail to win a game of football.<br />
<br />
I've not seen them play well. I've barely seen them string two passes together. I've seen them rely on Paul Watson in midfield and Stuart McKenzie in goals far more than any team should rely on just two players.<br />
<br />
There were high hopes today (but not the bumper home crowd that might have been expected), Montrose having held their backwards fish-smoking cousins from down the coast to a draw a week earlier.<br />
<br />
But Arbroath came roaring out of the traps, Paul McManus sweeping a low finish under McKenzie in the fourth minute.<br />
<br />
Montrose tried to stage a comeback, but it took them until first half stoppage time to equalise, Paul Harkins playing a one-two with Scott Johnston, scrambling his way through the Arbroath defence and poking the ball into the net from a couple of yards out.<br />
<br />
Both sides had chances in the second half, but neither could break the deadlock, McKenzie performing heroics in the Montrose goal.<br />
<br />
It took just two minutes of extra time for Arbroath to go back in front, McManus again applying a low finish.<br />
<br />
And he completed his hat-trick eight minutes from time, again finding space in the box to slip the ball into the net.<br />
<br />
By then Montrose had all but given up, George Shields having withdrawn Watson to keep him relatively fresh for the long league trip to Berwick on Wednesday night.<br />
<br />
Complaints? Much the same as the <a href="http://groaninjock.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/season-20132014-match-1-montrose-0.html">last time I saw Montrose</a>, two and a half months ago - no strikers who actually score goals, a lack of pace on the wings, a determination to hammer the ball up the park rather than pass it, launching throw-ins up the line to an opposition player instead of passing back and passing out.<br />
<br />
Last time out I was overly harsh on Paul Watson - without him, the Montrose midfield would have been overrun today.<br />
<br />
There are flashes of quality of throughout the team on occasion - McCord sometimes offers an interesting pass, Deasley is capable of igniting every so often and Johnston works his arse off every time he steps onto the Montrose Brillo pad, although not always terribly effectively.<br />
<br />
Paul Harkins worked hard today and ultimately deserved his goal, but Graham Webster on the opposite wing had a miserable afternoon, never looking comfortable during the two-hour match.<br />
<br />
While the Montrose defence may lack pace, the Crawford-Wood-Campbell-Graham axis generally worked better than the scoreline would suggest. They need to be more switched on from the get-go, and choose how to distribute the ball better, but there's a solidity that seems to be growing under the watchful eyes of George Shields and Lee Wilkie - working with a former Scotland centre back is presumably paying dividends.<br />
<br />
Anyway, as I have now seen the side lose twice in two outings, I'll maybe stay away for a while and see if things improve...<br />
<br />
Man of the Match: He conceded three and could have done better with the first, but Stuart McKenzie kept Montrose's hopes alive until extra time with a series of outstanding saves.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-14506254287204298442014-07-26T21:41:00.000+01:002014-08-13T14:30:49.629+01:00Season 2013/2014: Match 1: Montrose 0 Peterhead 3 (The Petrofac Cup Round 1) The last time I saw Montrose beat Peterhead was in November 2012. Since then, they've lost Martin Boyle and Jamie Winter, and have lost 6-0 to Peterhead at Links Park.<br />
<br />
Using the well-honed skill and judgement that comes with the territory of being an amateur pundit, I today predicted that Montrose would not win their first competitive match of the season.<br />
<br />
The reasons for this prediction included:<br />
<br />
1) Montrose's lack of a real goalscorer - Garry Wood is a striker who rarely strikes, and Bryan Deasley seems to have forgotten he ever was one. Scott Johnston runs a lot but seems to forget what he was trying to do when he gets where he was going.<br />
<br />
2) Montrose continue to play Alan Campbell and his arthritic knees at centre back, while Paul Watson has polished his game down to a solid core of wandering around, shouting at his team-mates and trying audacious long-distance shots.<br />
<br />
3) Peterhead are, though it pains me to say it, a very good side (when speaking comparatively alongside the rest of the scrapings in the bottom two levels of the SPFL barrel).<br />
<br />
4) Montrose are pish.<br />
<br />
Even the previously unbreakable lucky charm of Little Jocklette was unable to counteract the Rory McAllister effect, daughter dear seeing Montrose lose for the first time, in her fourth visit to the North Sea Nou Camp.<br />
<br />
Peterhead took the lead in the fifth minute, Andy Rodgers' header dropping inside the far post from a James Stevenson corner, despite Ross Graham's best efforts to Riverdance it to safety.<br />
<br />
The visitors doubled their lead in the 17th minute when McAllister broke into a light jog which saw him race clear of the Montrose defence, before he slipped a low shot into McKenzie's net.<br />
<br />
They completed the scoring before the half hour mark, Rodgers cutting the ball back for Stevenson to sidefoot home.<br />
<br />
Having all but lost the match already, Montrose were further hindered when referee Colin Steven showed Graham Webster a red card for allowing Peterhead's Jamie Redman to smash into him with a sliding challenge.<br />
<br />
He was joined in the Montrose dressing room by Garry Wood early in the second half, the Montrose skipper adjudged to have committed a professional foul on McAllister, although there looked to be little or no contact between the two.<br />
<br />
If Webster and Wood thought they were having a bad afternoon, it probably got a whole lot worse when they were joined by Big Mad Lee Wilkie, the raging assistant manager banished to the dressing room lest he forcibly remove assistant referee Joseph Lawson's head from his shoulders. One would imagine that was an uncomfortable 45 minutes for the red-carded players.<br />
<br />
After the second red, there was little action on which to report - Peterhead pissed about with the ball in their own half, occasionally gave Rory McAllister a chance to make Campbell look like a fud, and fired a few long distance shots at Stuart McKenzie just to check he wasn't sleeping.<br />
<br />
And that was that. Three goals conceded, none scored, two men sent off and suspended.<br />
<br />
Welcome to the new season...<br />
<br />
Man of the Match: Slim pickings from Montrose. Without Stuart McKenzie in goals, it could have been a lot worse, so we'll go for him. Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-7497686388723099512014-06-09T08:46:00.001+01:002014-06-09T08:46:23.652+01:00Rivals<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/JKG7h1hrNb8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
MERCEDES AMG PETRONAS Formula 1 drivers, Lewis Hamilton & Nico
Rosberg, are great rivals off the track as well as on it. Watch this
behind the scenes video as Lewis and Nico work to stay ahead of their
closest competition, whatever the situation!Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-2140234013556063422014-04-27T14:58:00.002+01:002014-04-27T14:58:27.803+01:00The Groanin' Jock Montrose FC Player of the Year Award 2013/2014As my Montrose viewing is over for the season, it's now time to award the award that no awardee is waiting for, The Groanin' Jock Montrose FC Player of the Year Award.<br />
<br />
Determined by who I most often awarded the man of the match, this season we have a clear winner.<br />
<br />
Stuart McKenzie, in his debut season at the Montrose Maracana, has been a solid and confident performer in the Montrose goal.<br />
<br />
On the 14 occasions I've seen Montrose this season, McKenzie has been the home side's best performer in five of them.<br />
<br />
The full list is as follows:<br />
<br />
Stuart McKenzie 5<br />
Scott Johnston 3<br />
Bryan Deasley 2<br />
Garry Wood 2<br />
Alan Campbell 1<br />
Paul Watson 1Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-40237605375524654762014-04-26T23:09:00.003+01:002014-04-26T23:09:53.365+01:00Season 2013/2014: Match 14: Montrose 2 Annan Athletic 1 (Scottish Professional Football League Two) Having last seen Montrose win around six weeks ago, and having seen them ship five goals without reply in my previous two visits to the Montrose Maracana, it was with no optimism that I ventured out today.<br />
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Given that they were facing an Annan side sitting second in the league and with a playoff place guaranteed, it seemed obvious that Montrose would continue their sorry capitulation of the preceding two home matches.<br />
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The previous week they'd rolled over and let Clyde tickle their bellies, but this week there was a growl and a determination to their play.<br />
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Jonathan Crawford epitomised it, with a snarling, ill-tempered showing that included a booking in the third minute. Having long since cast aside his Screech Powers curls, Crawford today was a torn-faced menace to any Annan player who ventured into his fallout zone. He almost scored with a fantastic bullet header during the second half, only to be denied by a great stop from visiting keeper Kenny Arthur.<br />
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Montrose had taken the lead on the half hour mark when Scott Johnston's cross to the back post was headed down by Paul Watson, allowing Bryan Deasley to sneak in front of his marker and poke the ball into the net.<br />
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The same player had several chances during the match, but found Arthur in good form, as well as passing up others through poor finishing.<br />
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It took until the 74th minute for Annan to find an equaliser, David Hopkirk sent clear of the Montrose defence and slotting a shot past McKenzie and in off the post.<br />
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But it took Montrose only two minutes to move back in front, McCord's corner falling to Wood in the box. The Montrose skipper's first shot was blocked, but his second zipped across goal and into the net.<br />
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And so Montrose's final home match of the season ended with an unlikely win. The season will end next week in deepest, darkest Stenhousemuir, and from there we can begin to think about next season under a new manager.<br />
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I'd keep most of the squad on, assuming they wanted to stay. McKenzie has been a revelation in goals, and Montrose will be doing well to hold on to him.<br />
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Campbell and Wilson have settled as a central defensive partnership, and Crawford's versatility continues to make him a useful asset. Left back remains a problem, although Bell did fairly well today before being replaced by McIntosh.<br />
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Watson, Masson and Gray are all definite keeps, but I've been concerned over the form of McCord this season, as he doesn't appear to be the player he was during his first spell at Links Park.<br />
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Deasley, Wood and Johnston are all great players on their day, and I'd definitely keep all three.<br />
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So, if a new manager can add some additional bodies in defence and midfield, and hold onto the best players already at the club, it might be possible to move me from pessimism to optimism.<br />
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Maybe...<br />
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Man of the Match: Bryan Deasley's movement and workrate were great today, but his finishing could have been better. Garry Wood took his goal well and looked generally untroubled all afternoon, as did the unusually fiery Jonathan Crawford.<br />
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But yet again, Stuart McKenzie was exceptional, keeping Montrose ahead with some magnificent goalkeeping. The best player at the club by a sizeable margin this season.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-10587051040413526502014-04-19T21:57:00.000+01:002014-04-19T21:57:14.866+01:00Season 2013/2014: Match 13: Montrose 0 Clyde 2 (Scottish Professional Football League Two) As my press corps colleagues and I departed the Basinside Bernabeu this afternoon, I canvassed some of my fellow punters for their choice of reports:<br />
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Punter 1: "What a load of shite"<br />
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Punter 2: "Pish. Pish. Pish."<br />
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I really have little more to add to those assessments. Montrose were dire today. Scarcely a shot on target. An insistence on thumping crosses into the box despite Garry Wood being carved out of granite and Kieran Sturrock making Martin Boyle look like a towering behemoth. Graham Webster in midfield. The list of complaints goes on...and on...and on...<br />
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Positives? Barely any. Montrose only conceded twice - is that a positive?<br />
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Terry Masson started on the bench as George "The Animal" Shields, caretaker managing Montrose for the first time at Links Park, selected Ross McCord and Graham Webster in the centre of the park, flanked by Bryan "Emmmm, but I'm a striker George" Deasley and Scott "And so am I" Johnston.<br />
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Even with the midfield being overrun in the second half, it wasn't the hapless Webster who was substituted, but the anonymous Sturrock. Terry Masson came off the bench and took two minutes to collect his customary booking.<br />
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Clyde looked good today - especially when we consider that it's very recently that they would arrive at Links Park and receive an absolute hammering (8-1 seems a long time ago). Their opening goal came from a surging run from Stuart McColm that, if it didn't quite evoke Gareth Bale's Copa Del Rey winner from midweek, it did rip Jonathan Crawford a new arsehole.<br />
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Their second came from the penalty spot after Colin Wilson decided to empty Stefan McCluskey in the box.<br />
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Positives? At least there's only 180 minutes of the season to go...<br />
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Man of the match: Slim pickings - even the usually dependable Stuart McKenzie struggled today. If forced to pick from the Montrose ranks, I'd reluctantly go for Bryan Deasley, who came closest to scoring for the home team and at least looked like he might like to win a football match.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-62737702589820683512014-03-29T20:54:00.000+00:002014-03-29T20:54:14.312+00:00Season 2013/2014: Match 12: Montrose 0 Elgin City 3 (Scottish Professional Football League Two)Optimism and positivity tend to be in short supply in the stand, cow-shed and storm-ravaged terracing of Links Park, but today Montrose largely ditched their "launch it into the wind and see what happens" approach to the beautiful game and opted instead for slick passing and the creation of scores of chances.<br />
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They could have gone in at the break leading by four or five goals had it not been for some good saves from visiting goalkeeper John Gibson, some unlucky/poor finishing from Paul Watson, Scott Johnston and David Gray, and Bryan Deasley's inexplicably poor final balls.<br />
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Potentially four or five goals ahead at the break, but drawing 0-0 when Mat Northcroft blew for half time. Those of you aware of Montrose's recent history know where this is heading, don't you?<br />
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Montrose were still the better side in the second half, Campbell and Watson both coming close and Terry Masson shooting wide when it looked easier to score,<br />
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But it took only eight minutes for Elgin to score, Shane Sutherland (who was an international-class striker in Football Manager 2012) robbing Jonathan Crawford and poking the ball under Stuart McKenzie.<br />
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Two more goals followed, both scored by substitute Adam McLeod, and both after Montrose corners were cleared by long punts from the Elgin defenders.<br />
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So despite dominating the match, playing some attractive attacking football, regularly winning the ball and forcing Elgin into errors, Montrose contrived to lose 3-0 at home to the team second bottom of Scotland's lowest professional league.<br />
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Optimism and positivity tend to be in short supply...<br />
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Man of the Match: When Montrose were playing well today, they were as good as I've seen them all season - breaking fast, constantly pressing and looking for openings. Paul Watson and Terry Masson were the driving forces in the middle of the park, while David Gray created several chances and Bryan Deasley's work rate was second to none.<br />
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Leading them all by example was Scott Johnston, the youngster up front with Gray and a repeated threat to the Elgin defence. He seems to have bulked up recently, adding a previously unknown physical aspect to his play, as well as developing his final ball to be more effective.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-57381988709597455712014-03-15T22:10:00.001+00:002014-03-15T22:10:29.433+00:00Season 2013/2014: Match 11: Montrose 2 East Stirlingshire 0 (Scottish Professional Football League Two)Jock 1:1: And lo, the wind did howl, and there was great misery upon the Earth.<br />
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Jock 1:2: And the people asked: "Must we watch Montrose in the storm? For we have seen them ship five to Berwick and they were poor".<br />
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Jock 1:3. But Garden spoke: "Venture unto the Links Park and thou shalt be rewarded".<br />
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Jock 2:1. The people heard the word, and it was true. For East Stirlingshire contrived to lose to a team battered by Berwick a week earlier.<br />
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Jock 2:2. Garden selected Gray, and there were great rejoicing, for he did open the scoring with a 30-yard half volley.<br />
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Jock 2:3. And the people were happy, for Deasley scored a second, poking into the net from six yards out.<br />
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Jock 3.1. Lo, the storm did blow, but Montrose were strong, and the people were happy.<br />
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Jock 3.2. Though the Shire had chances, they could not have scored in a Babylonian brothel. And Garden was happy. And the Mo rejoiced.<br />
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Man of the Match: David Gray scored a belter of a goal, Jonathan Crawford gave possibly the best performance I have ever seen from him and Ricky McIntosh was superb at left back.<br />
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But yet again, Stuart McKenzie was a formidable presence in goal, keeping a clean sheet as Shire and the wind did their best to find goals in the second half.Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33799918.post-44886476529600368192014-03-01T22:00:00.000+00:002014-03-01T22:20:42.853+00:00Season 2013/2014: Match 10: Montrose 2 Albion Rovers 1 (Scottish Professional Football League Two)Could the playing and coaching staff of Montrose FC please consider alerting paying punters if, in future, they intend to cram all the interesting bits of their match into a five-minute spell in the second half.<br />
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That way, those of us who aren't always blown away by the avant-garde performance art of Messrs Crawford, Deasley, Johnston and Campbell can find something less arse-numbingly dull to do, then turn up for the good bit.<br />
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Today's match turned in a chaotic five minutes early in the second half when Albion Rovers - who have ditched their Melchester Rovers strips for Spanish national team knock-offs - took the lead through Gary Philips' header at the back post.<br />
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That lead lasted two minutes, Bryan Deasley taking a break from shanking wild shots wide of the target to send a square ball to Scott Johnston, who poked the ball into the net from two yards out.<br />
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The home side then took the lead a further two minutes later, Terry Masson applying the finishing touch to a smooth passing move involving Deasley and Gray.<br />
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Montrose also had two headers cleared off the Albion Rovers goal-line, and by the end they were feeling so confident that Jonathan Crawford decided to take a wander to left back, dropped his shoulder, cut outside the Albion Rovers right winger and pinged a 45-yard pass down the touchline. It may prove to be the high point of his career.<br />
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The second half of the second half (fourth quarter in Americanese) was possibly as good as I've seen Montrose play all season. But nonetheless, someone sitting near the back of the stand called for Stuart Garden's resignation on the final whistle.<br />
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Up to sixth in the league, only five points off the play-offs? I must not be optimistic...I must not be optimistic...I must not be optimistic...<br />
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Man of the Match: There were two stand-out performers in my opinion - Scott Johnston and Stuart McKenzie. The striker scored one and gave a typically hard-working performance up front, but the goalkeeper kept Montrose in the match with a series of point-blank saves and generally strong command of his box. He also picked up my vote for player of the season in today's poll. Groanin' Jockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10129803724044090064noreply@blogger.com0