Friday, March 02, 2007

Hospital-ity

I hate hospitals.

Last night, following an incident involving my Granny, the kerb, a stone wall, a broken kneecap and a severely battered and bruised face, I spent six hours in the accident and emergency ward at Ninewells Hospital in Dundee.

Besides the obvious feelings associated with watching someone close to you endure having their nose stitched shut and their broken knee prodded and manipulated, the hospital is not my favourite place for other reasons.

All of the seats and chairs in hospitals seem to have been designed as a cruel but inventive Medieval torture technique whereby comfort is hinted at but can never be achieved. None of the vending machines work properly, and the television in the waiting room is always too loud or too quiet.

However, the reason that I most dislike hospitals is that nothing ever seems to happen quickly. I half expected to leave the casualty ward to find that Scotland had popped up somewhere near the Bahamas thanks to continental drifting, or that a new mutant race of genetically-superior humans was now running the show.

In the six hours that we spent in the hospital, three things happened: my Granny's cuts were cleaned, her nose was stitched and her knee was x-rayed. Now, does any of those activities sound like it requires two hours to itself?

Please excuse today's groanin' - I've only had three hours of sleep, and I'm struggling to stay awake at work. Roll on 4.30pm and the end of another working week.

7 comments:

Lisa W. said...

How awful - both the accident and your wait at the hospital. I hope they gave Granny some good drugs for the pain and she gets some rest and is feeling better soon.

Ole Blue The Heretic said...

I hope that granny heals quickly.

Yea hospitals make time go backwards in some cases they are so slow and understaffed usually.

Mirk said...

Hope your Gran makes a quick recovery! It does take forever in hospitals but the staff do try their hardest what they need is more funding

Ian Lidster said...

Hope your granny's OK now. As per hospital seats they, of course, are designed by the same people who manufacture aircraft seating. Never have sat in a comfortable one. After 10 hours it gets agonizing.
May you get some rest.
Ian

Erica said...

Oy vey....well, a speedy and completely recovery to your granny.

Oh, and re: "All of the seats and chairs in hospitals seem to have been designed as a cruel but inventive Medieval torture technique whereby comfort is hinted at but can never be achieved. "

That is one of the truest, and most indisputable, sentences ever to be written by man. You hit that one on the head, bro.

Good luck to Granny, again.

Anonymous said...

It's surely tough for granny, but come on, post accident care is far from universal globally, and maybe the lady will consider herself fortunate to live in an enlightened country with medical assistance freely available for all. These chairs....grow up and get over them! Good luck to granny!

Groanin' Jock said...

Thanks to everyone for their best wishes - Granny is now on the mend, albeit with a thigh-to-ankle cast on her left leg and a badly bruised face.