After my crowing earlier in the week that I haven't had a hangover in more than a year, I am now being made to suffer for my arrogance in the face of nature.
I have man flu. Though women commonly mistake this life-threatening condition for the common cold, the two are light years apart.
The following excerpt from Dr Jock's Home Medical Guide (Groanin' Publications, 2006) offers advice on the treatment of man flu:
"Man flu makes the sufferer feel so ill that they can only really be treated by a day of full-on pampering in bed. Drinks, both hot and cold, should be relayed to the patient as and when required, as should whatever food the patient craves at that time.
Pillows should be plumped up a minimum of once every hour, and the patient should be given a variety of stimulating magazines, books, computer games, TV programmes and other entertainment whenever requested.
As the condition is unique to men, there is no danger of a woman contracting man flu, and as a result, wives, girlfriends or mothers should be on hand at all times to see to all the patient's needs. Because the condition is not contagious to women, requests from the patient for 'snuggling' should be agreed to with a smile."
Unfortunately, Mrs Wife is in Aviemore for the next three nights at a training course. So I'll be living off Lemsip, toast and biscuits. Spare a thought for those who suffer....
No comments:
Post a Comment