Jesus Christ on a bike (apologies if that offended anyone....in fact no, no apologies. This is MY blog - if you don't like a wee bit of blasphemy, just point your browser in another direction).
The British government is giving serious consideration to issuing licences to people who own sporrans.
As regular readers will be aware, I both own an (fairly) regularly don a kilt in an effort to convince people that I am a stylish, well-dressed drunk, rather than a scruffy, looks-like-he-dressed-in-a-charity-shop-with-his-eyes-closed drunk.
I've owned my kilt since shortly before my wedding last year - so therefore my sporran would be subject to the licensing laws.
So how exactly does one go about obtaining a license for a bit of dead seal bought more than a year ago?
What is this country coming to? Are we on a slippery slope to having to apply to the government to own a pair of leather shoes? Will angry mobs storm the streets demanding that the authorities recognise their Right To Wear Wool?
Well, the government can try - but I don't fancy their chances of getting that piece of legislation through.
7 comments:
Hello Groanin' Jock,
Regarding sporrans - I think the government's intention to licence sporrans is a step in the right direction. What is more, I think that people should be required to take a monthly test to ensure that they are responsible sporran-owners.
This would not need to be extensive; a few questions on the correct handling of sporrans, the cleaning and grooming of sporrans, correct sporran-storage, etc. I'm sure even you would not object to these measures. Sporrans can prove dangerous in untrained hands.
I am also of the opinion that in the future the government should also issue licences for spurtles to ensure that they are not made out of endangered species of trees.
Thank you,
Horton Carew
Congratulations, Horton, for what I believe is the first ever reference to spurtles on the Blogosphere. If only we could educate more people about the joys of spurtles, the world would be a better place.
Jock - you are sadly mistaken about spurtles, the interwebthingy is veritably awash with them.
Why not visit http://www.goldenspurtle.com/ to see what abominations they are making with them...
Remember:
"It's For The Children™".
Thanks for showing me the light TK, I've been living in a spurtle-free bubble during my online existance until now. Who'd've thunk that porridge spoons would prove so popular?
Is it just me or does spurtle sound a bit rude?
It just occured to me, how are they to enforce this law? Will there be an initial sporran amnesty? Will unlicenced users perhaps be turning up at a wedding only to have an officer of the law emerge from a hiding place behind a hedge with a sporran detector device (S.D.D)?
Will the sporran wearer have his sporran confiscated or will he have seven days in which to produce his documentation? Can we expect the polis to have a special sporran division? "Excuse me sir are you the owner of this sporran?" . These officers will surely have to undergo special training for the tactile issues involved in inspecting sporrans whilst on the wearer.
I'm sure this further confirms the excellent value the tax payer gains from the legislature in ths country.
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