Large McDonald's strawberry milkshake.
Paul Simon's Graceland on the headphones.
Sun in the sky and barely a breeze.
I love summertime...
....Even when it arrives in March...
Showing posts with label Aberdeen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aberdeen. Show all posts
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Season 2009/2010: Match 10: Aberdeen v Hearts
Courtesy of a spare season ticket, I accompanied friend to Pit O'Dire today to watch Aberdeen take on fellow SPL shitehawks Hearts.
It was freezing down at the beach, and I was soon thinking better of my decision to accept the free ticket.
From the start, this game had 0-0 written all over it. Aberdeen's midget central midfield were poor and both Kerr and McDonald were lucky to stay on the park for a series of semi-brutal challenges. Darren Mackie remains the world's worst striker. And Hearts are a thuggish side with little in the way of inspiration.
It was a red card that changed the course of the game, Laryea Kingston shown a straight red for a kung fu kick. From there on in, Hearts never looked back, defending in numbers and slicing Aberdeen open more regularly than had been the case with a full team.
They finally took the lead in the second half through an overhead kick, with the Hearts players queuing up to score and the Aberdeen defence missing in action.
Aberdeen became more desperate, but couldn't find an equaliser, let alone a winner.
Neither of these sides has much in the way of class, but Aberdeen should be especially worried given their recent poor run of form. It's still not too late for them to be sucked into a relegation battle.
We can but dream....
It was freezing down at the beach, and I was soon thinking better of my decision to accept the free ticket.
From the start, this game had 0-0 written all over it. Aberdeen's midget central midfield were poor and both Kerr and McDonald were lucky to stay on the park for a series of semi-brutal challenges. Darren Mackie remains the world's worst striker. And Hearts are a thuggish side with little in the way of inspiration.
It was a red card that changed the course of the game, Laryea Kingston shown a straight red for a kung fu kick. From there on in, Hearts never looked back, defending in numbers and slicing Aberdeen open more regularly than had been the case with a full team.
They finally took the lead in the second half through an overhead kick, with the Hearts players queuing up to score and the Aberdeen defence missing in action.
Aberdeen became more desperate, but couldn't find an equaliser, let alone a winner.
Neither of these sides has much in the way of class, but Aberdeen should be especially worried given their recent poor run of form. It's still not too late for them to be sucked into a relegation battle.
We can but dream....
Friday, February 26, 2010
Flaming Eck
On this evening's STV news bulletin, Alex Salmond said "I can think of nothing more exciting than living in the North East of Scotland."
I'm willing to test that theory. If anyone has a wad of cash they're not needing, I'll buy a boat and sail it across the Atlantic with Salmond towed behind in an inflatable dinghy.
Arriving in the US, I'll make my way to the next space shuttle launch, attach Eck to the outside of the shuttle with a combination of superglue and staples, paint him in sugar and release a swarm of hornets.
As an added bonus, I'll also set his testicles on fire.
I wonder if he'll be able to imagine anything more exciting than a life in Fraserburgh after that?
I'm willing to test that theory. If anyone has a wad of cash they're not needing, I'll buy a boat and sail it across the Atlantic with Salmond towed behind in an inflatable dinghy.
Arriving in the US, I'll make my way to the next space shuttle launch, attach Eck to the outside of the shuttle with a combination of superglue and staples, paint him in sugar and release a swarm of hornets.
As an added bonus, I'll also set his testicles on fire.
I wonder if he'll be able to imagine anything more exciting than a life in Fraserburgh after that?
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Square Root Of All Evil
As my office backs onto what, until recently was a massive Aberdeen building site, today myself and two colleagues ventured out at lunchtime for the opening of the city's new shopping/cinema/dining complex, Union Square.
And it was utter bedlam. I've just heard on the news that 10,000 people were through the doors in the first hour.
TEN THOUSAND people. 30,000 in the first three hours. To see shops and restaurants that largely already exist in the city.
The big draw though was the shiny new Apple store. They were giving away t-shirts to the first 1,000 people into the shop, and rumour has it that 100 of the boxes also had iPod Nanos in them. But we took one look at the queue and decided to leave instead.
But even that was hard work, fighting against the flow of 10,000 folk milling around, ramraiding others with buggies, stopping dead with no notice and generally infuriating those of us who are perfectly normal.
And it was utter bedlam. I've just heard on the news that 10,000 people were through the doors in the first hour.
TEN THOUSAND people. 30,000 in the first three hours. To see shops and restaurants that largely already exist in the city.
The big draw though was the shiny new Apple store. They were giving away t-shirts to the first 1,000 people into the shop, and rumour has it that 100 of the boxes also had iPod Nanos in them. But we took one look at the queue and decided to leave instead.
But even that was hard work, fighting against the flow of 10,000 folk milling around, ramraiding others with buggies, stopping dead with no notice and generally infuriating those of us who are perfectly normal.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
When Driving Lessons Go Wrong
This is what happens when a learner driver takes a corner too wide in Springbank Terrace, Aberdeen....
....when the driving instructor grabs the wheel to stop a collision with an oncoming car....
....and when the learner panics and accidentally hits the accelerator instead of the brake....
....when the driving instructor grabs the wheel to stop a collision with an oncoming car....
....and when the learner panics and accidentally hits the accelerator instead of the brake....
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Shit Hits The Fan
Whoever said that getting hit by bird shit is lucky has obviously never had such a gift from an Aberdeen seagull.
It's like getting shat on by a flying alsatian.
It's like getting shat on by a flying alsatian.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Disgraceful
Here's the video footage of the Kyle Lafferty / Charlie Mulgrew "headbutt".
As much as I thought that Lafferty made a meal of it at the time, even without the benefit of an instant replay, I did think that Mulgrew brought his head forward.
The pair of them should have been booked for handbags at ten paces (or half a pace in this instance). For Lafferty to hit the ground holding his face like that is inexcusable, and I hope Rangers fine him.
I want Rangers to win the league (a dream that just took a step closer to becoming reality thanks to Celtic's 0-0 draw at Hibs), but I want them to do so fairly, not through resorting to cheap tactics like that.
Season 2008/2009: Match 26: Rangers v Aberdeen
I was down in Glasgow yesterday for what will probably have been my last match of the season, Rangers against Aberdeen.Many people think that the rivalry between Rangers and Celtic is the most heated in world football, and it's certainly up there. But in terms of poisonous atmospheres, it has nothing on this clash.
Within minutes of kick-off, Aberdeen's fans were singing sons glorifying the horrendous tackle that almost ended Ian Durrant's career more than 20 years ago. There is no love lost between the two groups of fans at all, a fact that nearly 20 years of mediocrity for the Sheep Shaggers has done nothing to dilute.
In the run-up to the match, when Rangers moved ahead of Celtic to the top of the SPL a week ago, there were brief thoughts that this could prove to be a title party for Rangers. Had Celtic dropped a point midweek and Rangers beaten Hibs, a win yesterday would have returned the title to Ibrox.
I was at Ibrox in 1996 the last time Rangers won the title by beating Aberdeen at home, when Gazza scored a magnificent hat-trick for a team containing Goram, Gough, McCoist and Laudrup and I had visions of repeating that day yesterday.
Of course, that dream collapsed with a Celtic win and a Rangers draw midweek, but the title chase is still on.
Today's squad has nothing like the quality of that 1996 side - Barry Ferguson in his prime might have made the bench, as would Allan McGregor, and Pedro Mendes might have scraped into the squad, but I doubt that any of the other players currently at Ibrox would have made the starting eleven for that side that secured an eighth title on the bounce.
Ferguson was restored to the squad for yesterday's clash, starting on the bench, his recent injury and the furore surounding his Scotland squad misdemeanours having subsided. Also on the bench were Nacho Novo and John Fleck, Walter Smith opting to start with the KKK trio of Kris Boyd, Kenny Miller and Kyle Lafferty.
It was Lafferty who made the headlines, but for the wrong reasons. The big Ulsterman flew into a challenge on Charlie Mulgrew with his studs up, sending the former Celtic man flying. When both players were back on their feet, there was an exchange of words before Lafferty went down clutching his face. From where I was sitting, it looked as though Mulgrew had moved his head forward, but I was fairly certain there was no contact.
A flurry of text messages from Aberdeen fans of my acquaintance, which included the words "cheat", "embarrassment" and "disgrace" confirmed my suspicions - Lafferty had gone down in a blatant attempt to get his opponent sent off.
He succeeded, Aberdeen reduced to ten men with 72 minutes of the match still to play. With the title chase likely to come down to goal difference, Rangers would never have a better chance to pile on a few goals.
But they were horrendous. The couldn't create anything, with Miller too far wide, Boyd cutting a lonely figure up front and Mendes unable to wield his usual level of control over the ball, and the first half seemed to be dying a slow death when referee Stewart Dougal and linesman Graham Chambers conspiring further to inject a bit of excitement.
Racing into the box, Madjid Bougherra slid into the six-yard box in pursuit of a through ball. His studs caught Aberdeen goalkeeper Jamie Langfield in the face, and the linesman adjudged the challenge to be dangerous play, Dougal giving the big defender his marching orders.
So it was with Steven Whittaker at centre back and Steven Davis at right back that Rangers started the second half.
Again, they failed to make much of an impact, struggling to create much against a resolute Aberdeen defence.
Finally, with an hour gone, Smith introduced Ferguson and Novo in place of Mendes and Boyd, and within seven minutes Rangers were 2-0 up.
The first came when Ricky Foster, at full stretch, turned Kenny Miller's cross from the left beyond Langfield. Then, two minutes later, Miller himself netted from a Nacho Novo cross.
The sense of relief within Ibrox was palpable.
I've been a recent critic of Barry Ferguson's, as I think that he's been a liability, winning a place in the team on reputation rather than merit. There's also a near unbearable arrogance around him, as evidenced by his behaviour when with the Scotland squad.
But his introduction yesterday reinvigorated Rangers, and his passing was more direct than usual, opening up the Aberdeen defence more easily than any of his team mates had found it in the previous hour.
With Rangers two goals up with 20 minutes to play, the chance was there for the Ibrox side to chase more goals in an effort to boost their goal difference.
All such hopes were dashed in the 77th minute when Michael Paton scored a soft goal, the Rangers defence unable to close him down before he could shoot.
Rangers were then faced with a difficult choice - chase more goals and risk conceding again and dropping two points, or shore up at the back and settle for a win, albeit by a single goal.
They opted for the latter, and moved back to the top of the league ahead of Celtic's match today. Should the Mhanky Mhob win against Hibs, they will return to the summit for the start of next Helicopter Sunday.
Do I think Rangers will win the league? Blind optimism says yes, common sense says no. Too many times poor refereeing decisions, odd team selections, poor form and mediocre players have conspired against the club to believe that there will be a dramatic enough swing on the final day.
What's most annoying is that this Celtic team is as poor as its Rangers counterpart. Would any of the players have made it into the teams managed by Tommy Burns, Wim Jansen, Jo Venglos or Martin O'Neill? Scott Brown maybe. Artur Boruc at his peak. Maybe Aiden McGeady.
Financial limitations for both sides have limited the quality of player available to Walter Smith and Gordon Strachan. Rangers' squad looks old, slow and limited in creativity. I would never doubt the work rate of Weir, Papac, Dailly, Bougherra, Miller et al, but their abilities simply aren't up to the standards of previous Rangers teams.
A cutting down of dead wood would probably be on the cards for Rangers this summer were it not for a lack of credible and affordable alternatives.
But, as the song says, no surrender....bring on Helicopter Sunday....
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Never Annoy A Pair Of Scouse Cage Fighters
I'm sure there are several morals to this tale, but I'm not entirely sure what they are. Follow the first link then watch this video.
Warning - the video is not suitable for work.
Warning - the video is not suitable for work.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Flyin' Gigs
It's bloody cold here in deepest, darkest, Jockshire. I think last week was the first I can remember when it snowed every day for a week.
The streets of Aberdeen are still covered in snow, and it's still deep in fields lining my train route into the city each morning. Curtains of frozen water cling to the cliffs between Aberdeen and Stonehaven, and the pavements in the city are, in places, dangerously slippery.
All in all, it's not ideal gig weather, but last night a few friends and I set off to Moshulu to see Late of The Pier.
Opening act Connan Mockasin (yep, both of those names are spelt correctly) were already on stage when we entered the venue. They were oddly ramshackle - a drummer in a deerstalker hat and a young guy with an unruly shock of blond hair playing an odd assortment of instruments while singing in a strangled yelp. They were better than that description makes them sound, honestly....
They were followed by Micachu and The Shapes (it was a night of bizarrely-named bands), who were, if truth be told, the most interesting band of the night. A lead singer who looked like a 14-year-old boy, but is actually a 21-year-old woman, led the three-piece band through a fast-paced set incorporating quick rhythm changes and clever harmonies. Definitely ones to watch.
And so to the headliners. I hadn't heard much of Late of The Pier's stuff prior to the gig, but I expected a noisy, fast-paced set - and I wasn't wrong.
As the gig was an over-14s event, the crowd was young and excitable, two features of the audience the band played on to rollock through an electro-punk set. The band's arrogance, while it undoutedly spurs them on while onstage, became a bit grating as the set wore on, but they were well worth the remarkably low entrance fee of £9.
All in all, a good night was had by each of us, especially given the less than ideal weather conditions outdoors.
The streets of Aberdeen are still covered in snow, and it's still deep in fields lining my train route into the city each morning. Curtains of frozen water cling to the cliffs between Aberdeen and Stonehaven, and the pavements in the city are, in places, dangerously slippery.
All in all, it's not ideal gig weather, but last night a few friends and I set off to Moshulu to see Late of The Pier.
Opening act Connan Mockasin (yep, both of those names are spelt correctly) were already on stage when we entered the venue. They were oddly ramshackle - a drummer in a deerstalker hat and a young guy with an unruly shock of blond hair playing an odd assortment of instruments while singing in a strangled yelp. They were better than that description makes them sound, honestly....
They were followed by Micachu and The Shapes (it was a night of bizarrely-named bands), who were, if truth be told, the most interesting band of the night. A lead singer who looked like a 14-year-old boy, but is actually a 21-year-old woman, led the three-piece band through a fast-paced set incorporating quick rhythm changes and clever harmonies. Definitely ones to watch.
And so to the headliners. I hadn't heard much of Late of The Pier's stuff prior to the gig, but I expected a noisy, fast-paced set - and I wasn't wrong.
As the gig was an over-14s event, the crowd was young and excitable, two features of the audience the band played on to rollock through an electro-punk set. The band's arrogance, while it undoutedly spurs them on while onstage, became a bit grating as the set wore on, but they were well worth the remarkably low entrance fee of £9.
All in all, a good night was had by each of us, especially given the less than ideal weather conditions outdoors.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Snow Rest For The Wicked
How much I wished I was a child today.
When Baby Brother and I were younger, we lived around 30 miles from our high school, so when winter hit properly, we could often be snowed in for a whole week, six-foot drifts making the roads unpassable for all vehicles, never mind school buses.
But instead, as Aberdeen was smothered beneath a blanket of white powder, I was in my company's office from 8am to 5pm attempting to make sense of dozens of interlocked spreadsheets forecasting vessel utilisation and other equally riveting topics.
What I would have given to have instead spent the morning launching snowballs at Baby Brother and sledging down increasingly steep slopes, before moving inside once I'd lost all feeling in my extremities to warm up beside the fire.
When Baby Brother and I were younger, we lived around 30 miles from our high school, so when winter hit properly, we could often be snowed in for a whole week, six-foot drifts making the roads unpassable for all vehicles, never mind school buses.
But instead, as Aberdeen was smothered beneath a blanket of white powder, I was in my company's office from 8am to 5pm attempting to make sense of dozens of interlocked spreadsheets forecasting vessel utilisation and other equally riveting topics.
What I would have given to have instead spent the morning launching snowballs at Baby Brother and sledging down increasingly steep slopes, before moving inside once I'd lost all feeling in my extremities to warm up beside the fire.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Smashing
The "benefits" of a second floor city centre office - best seats in the house when bus meets lorry and comes off second best.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Up In The Sky
I'm a tad weary today, as last night saw me turn back the years by visiting the Aberdeen Exhibition and Conference Centre to watch Oasis.
Oasis at the AECC was the first concert I attended (discounting festivals) back in 1997, shortly after the release of Be Here Now.
Since then, I've seen the band a further three or four times (unlike my friend Billy, who accompanied me last night, who has seen them 20 times). Since the last time I saw them, they've released two albums and seen the emergence of Liam Gallagher as a songwriting force to match his brother in quantity if not quality.
There's an atmosphere surrounding Oasis gigs that's unlike any other. For a start, it seems more Neds come out to watch the Gallagher touring circus than attend other gigs - it's not always entirely pleasant, but it's unique.
Furthermore, the number of people considerably younger than me who attended was quite surprising - we spotted countless youngsters who weren't even born when Definitely Maybe was released - and that's not an entirely pleasant thought either, given that it soundtracked my teenage years.
We opted against watching the support act, arriving in the concrete and steel shell of the AECC around fifteen minutes before the lights dipped to signal the imminent arrival of the band on stage. The taped intro of Fuckin' In The Bushes blasted out of the speakers and Billy and I launched ourselves into the crowd in a manner not befitting our combined 55 years walking the Earth.
The setlist was a curious one - Live Forever and Acquiesce, both of which would be regarded as amongst Oasis' best work, were omitted, while The Meaning of Soul and Slide Away were both given rare run-outs. The Masterplan and an acoustic guitar version of Don't Look Back In Anger were highlights, as were the furious blasts through Supersonic and Morning Glory.
The Shock of The Lightning suffered from a false start, the band stopping halfway through in an attempt to stop people being crushed against the barrier at the front of the arena (Noel: "Hey, hey, hey, hey, don't start booing. Everyone take one step back. We can't have the people down the front dying before they've bought a t-shirt.")
Champagne Supernova, as always, was a highlight, before the encore closed with the now-traditional cover of The Beatles' I Am The Walrus.
There was little banter between the band and the crowd, and at times it looked as though they were going through the motions - but how easy can it be to motivate yourself for a gig on a cold Sunday night in Aberdeen?
Nonetheless, Oasis and their singalong anthems are still a big part of British life. They won't be going anywhere anytime soon.
(I may post video footage if I can work out whether it's possible to rotate videos recorded on my phone.)
Oasis at the AECC was the first concert I attended (discounting festivals) back in 1997, shortly after the release of Be Here Now.
Since then, I've seen the band a further three or four times (unlike my friend Billy, who accompanied me last night, who has seen them 20 times). Since the last time I saw them, they've released two albums and seen the emergence of Liam Gallagher as a songwriting force to match his brother in quantity if not quality.
There's an atmosphere surrounding Oasis gigs that's unlike any other. For a start, it seems more Neds come out to watch the Gallagher touring circus than attend other gigs - it's not always entirely pleasant, but it's unique.
Furthermore, the number of people considerably younger than me who attended was quite surprising - we spotted countless youngsters who weren't even born when Definitely Maybe was released - and that's not an entirely pleasant thought either, given that it soundtracked my teenage years.
We opted against watching the support act, arriving in the concrete and steel shell of the AECC around fifteen minutes before the lights dipped to signal the imminent arrival of the band on stage. The taped intro of Fuckin' In The Bushes blasted out of the speakers and Billy and I launched ourselves into the crowd in a manner not befitting our combined 55 years walking the Earth.
The setlist was a curious one - Live Forever and Acquiesce, both of which would be regarded as amongst Oasis' best work, were omitted, while The Meaning of Soul and Slide Away were both given rare run-outs. The Masterplan and an acoustic guitar version of Don't Look Back In Anger were highlights, as were the furious blasts through Supersonic and Morning Glory.
The Shock of The Lightning suffered from a false start, the band stopping halfway through in an attempt to stop people being crushed against the barrier at the front of the arena (Noel: "Hey, hey, hey, hey, don't start booing. Everyone take one step back. We can't have the people down the front dying before they've bought a t-shirt.")
Champagne Supernova, as always, was a highlight, before the encore closed with the now-traditional cover of The Beatles' I Am The Walrus.
There was little banter between the band and the crowd, and at times it looked as though they were going through the motions - but how easy can it be to motivate yourself for a gig on a cold Sunday night in Aberdeen?
Nonetheless, Oasis and their singalong anthems are still a big part of British life. They won't be going anywhere anytime soon.
(I may post video footage if I can work out whether it's possible to rotate videos recorded on my phone.)
Friday, October 10, 2008
Random Mutterings
Note to McDonald's - I don't know what an M Burger is, but the stupid advert you're showing roughly seventeen times a second is enough to put me off buying one.
I'm pretty sure my right leg is going to fall off before I hit 30. A baldy-headed twat knackered it two minutes into a "friendly" football match last week, and it hasn't been the same since. There may be trouble ahead.
The first five tracks of the new Oasis album are pretty good, but there's a dramatic tail-off until Liam's final track, Soldier On. Better than Heathen Chemistry and Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants, but not up there with their greatest work, not by a long chalk.
Driving to work sucks ass. I've been forced to this week because of the strikes affecting Scotland's railways. I miss reading my book and relaxing on the train to work, especially as the book I'm reading, The Sum of All Fears, is getting REALLY interesting.
How To Lose Friends and Alienate People isn't a great movie. Not horrific, but by no means great. It has its occasional funny moments, but they're few and far between. But any movie that boasts Megan Fox in her underwear can't be all bad.
Think that pretty much sums up the contents of my head at the moment. Roll on Scotland v Norway tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my right leg is going to fall off before I hit 30. A baldy-headed twat knackered it two minutes into a "friendly" football match last week, and it hasn't been the same since. There may be trouble ahead.
The first five tracks of the new Oasis album are pretty good, but there's a dramatic tail-off until Liam's final track, Soldier On. Better than Heathen Chemistry and Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants, but not up there with their greatest work, not by a long chalk.
Driving to work sucks ass. I've been forced to this week because of the strikes affecting Scotland's railways. I miss reading my book and relaxing on the train to work, especially as the book I'm reading, The Sum of All Fears, is getting REALLY interesting.
How To Lose Friends and Alienate People isn't a great movie. Not horrific, but by no means great. It has its occasional funny moments, but they're few and far between. But any movie that boasts Megan Fox in her underwear can't be all bad.
Think that pretty much sums up the contents of my head at the moment. Roll on Scotland v Norway tomorrow.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Season 2008/2009: Match 8: Aberdeen v Hamilton Academical
Aberdeen: Scottish football's third force (allegedly). Playing at home following a decent, if hardly earth-shattering start to the season.
Hamilton Accies: Playing in Scottish football's top flight for the first two in two decades. The last time they were this high in the national game, Aberdeen were arguably Scottish football's number one side. Many people's favourites to go straight back down to Division One.
On paper, this should have been a walk-over.
Thankfully, football matches aren't played on paper.
I was at Pittodrie today through the kind offer of a spare season ticket. Last season, I visited the stadium to witness the Dons lose to Hearts. And today I saw them lose to a hard-working Hamilton team.
Hamilton were so confident today that they gave Aberdeen a one-goal start, Gary McDonald netting after just seven minutes.
But from there, Accies never looked back.
Sone Aluko, who spent last season on loan at Aberdeen from Birmingham, made his second home debut following his £50,000 transfer. And he looked to be head and shoulders above his team mates. His runs were positive and his crossing looked dangerous. It was a pity, for Aberdeen fans at least, that neither the horrendously poor Darren Mackie nor the ineffective Lee Miller could do anything with them.
The Dons were gash. Hamilton were first to every ball, defended with vigour and more than a little growl, and generally gave Aberdeen a chasing all over the park. It was no surprise when they equalised and even less of a surprise when they went ahead in the second half.
Jimmy Calderwood attempted to shake things up by introducing Dutch hairdresser Jeffrey De Visscher and Scottish gobshite Chris Maguire. Thankfully, for the fans of Rangers and comedy watching from the stands (probably just me), the changes amounted to nothing.
Third force in Scottish football? At this rate, Aberdeen might soon be the third best club in Division One.
Monday, September 08, 2008
Nae Bather
Recently, I was a passenger on an Aberdeen bus.
Given that I had a hangover and had had only a few hours' sleep, I didn't have the Magic Tune Box pumping its wares into my lugs.
Because I didn't have the Magic Tune Box on, I was subjected to the conversations of the passengers around me.
As the bus passed through the Altens industrial estate, a black man alighted on the bus, a huge white grin greeting the passengers before him.
He was barely in his seat when his phone rang.
It became evident fairly quickly that this latest arrival on the bus was from Nigeria. And that we was deeply religious.
His first word upon answering the phone was "Hallelujah" - he was evidently delighted to hear from the caller, whom it transpired was his pastor from Nigeria, who had returned to Scotland the previous night.
None of this is the reason why the man struck me as unusual - although devout Christians from Nigeria aren't ten-a-penny in Aberdeen.
What struck me was the man's accent. He spoke in a broad, sing-song Nigerian accent - but his speech was littered with words and phrases heard only in the northeast of Scotland.
On several occasions I heard him say "Nae bather" (that's baa-ther, not bay-ther), "bra" (as in good, not over the shoulder boulder holder) and, at the end of his conversation, "cheerio".
I don't know why it's stayed with me since then, but I found the conversation comical, and I only heard half of it. Maybe I was still drunk....
Given that I had a hangover and had had only a few hours' sleep, I didn't have the Magic Tune Box pumping its wares into my lugs.
Because I didn't have the Magic Tune Box on, I was subjected to the conversations of the passengers around me.
As the bus passed through the Altens industrial estate, a black man alighted on the bus, a huge white grin greeting the passengers before him.
He was barely in his seat when his phone rang.
It became evident fairly quickly that this latest arrival on the bus was from Nigeria. And that we was deeply religious.
His first word upon answering the phone was "Hallelujah" - he was evidently delighted to hear from the caller, whom it transpired was his pastor from Nigeria, who had returned to Scotland the previous night.
None of this is the reason why the man struck me as unusual - although devout Christians from Nigeria aren't ten-a-penny in Aberdeen.
What struck me was the man's accent. He spoke in a broad, sing-song Nigerian accent - but his speech was littered with words and phrases heard only in the northeast of Scotland.
On several occasions I heard him say "Nae bather" (that's baa-ther, not bay-ther), "bra" (as in good, not over the shoulder boulder holder) and, at the end of his conversation, "cheerio".
I don't know why it's stayed with me since then, but I found the conversation comical, and I only heard half of it. Maybe I was still drunk....
Friday, August 22, 2008
No Slow Train Coming
At some point yesterday afternoon, there was a landslide that covered a section of the East Coast Mainline between Stonehaven and Montrose.
As I understand things, ScotRail became aware of the problem around 4pm.
I arrived at Aberdeen railway station at 4.30pm, intending to catch my usual 4.41pm train home to Montrose. I was allowed to board the train as normal, and as usual it was fairly close to being full, with only a few seats free.
No announcement was made to tell passengers there was a delay until 4.50pm, and at that point we were informed that this was simply a delay.
At around 5.30pm we were told to get off the train as substitute buses would be running from Dundee onwards, and that separate buses would transfer passengers to Stonehaven, Montrose and Arbroath as required.
The announcements made over the station tannoy system were inaudible, leaving hundreds of passengers milling around the station concourse, joined each minute by new arrivals unaware of the problems.
Finally, all passengers bound for Edinburgh and Glasgow were urged to move outside (into the pishing rain) to queue for substitute buses. Everyone else was informed they should wait in the station.
Having waited until 6.30pm, I went out to seek further information. I asked a ScotRail employee whether any buses were running to Montrose, to be told "Oh, it's just left".
No announcement was made to the scores of passengers inside the station. There were still hundreds of people queuing on Guild Street in the rain, waiting for buses they were assured were "on the way".
I decided to stay in the queue, in case another Montrose-bound bus should appear unnanounced. While waiting, I got talking to the three people beside me, who were trying to get to Edinburgh.
At around 7.45pm, one of the women I was talking to set off to find more information. She returned around 8pm to inform me that a member of ScotRail staff was gathering a group of Montrose-bound passengers to travel in a taxi.
Thankfully, I managed to grab a space in the taxi, which left Aberdeen at 8pm, three-and-a-half hours after I had first arrived at the station, and I finally got home just after 9pm.
It is safe to say that I have never had the misfortune to deal with a company as disorganised, poorly managed and generally useless as ScotRail. At least three members of staff in Aberdeen station were truculent, moody and sarcastic when asked for information.
If the company is stripped of its operator's licence, it won't be a moment too soon.
As I understand things, ScotRail became aware of the problem around 4pm.
I arrived at Aberdeen railway station at 4.30pm, intending to catch my usual 4.41pm train home to Montrose. I was allowed to board the train as normal, and as usual it was fairly close to being full, with only a few seats free.
No announcement was made to tell passengers there was a delay until 4.50pm, and at that point we were informed that this was simply a delay.
At around 5.30pm we were told to get off the train as substitute buses would be running from Dundee onwards, and that separate buses would transfer passengers to Stonehaven, Montrose and Arbroath as required.
The announcements made over the station tannoy system were inaudible, leaving hundreds of passengers milling around the station concourse, joined each minute by new arrivals unaware of the problems.
Finally, all passengers bound for Edinburgh and Glasgow were urged to move outside (into the pishing rain) to queue for substitute buses. Everyone else was informed they should wait in the station.
Having waited until 6.30pm, I went out to seek further information. I asked a ScotRail employee whether any buses were running to Montrose, to be told "Oh, it's just left".
No announcement was made to the scores of passengers inside the station. There were still hundreds of people queuing on Guild Street in the rain, waiting for buses they were assured were "on the way".
I decided to stay in the queue, in case another Montrose-bound bus should appear unnanounced. While waiting, I got talking to the three people beside me, who were trying to get to Edinburgh.
At around 7.45pm, one of the women I was talking to set off to find more information. She returned around 8pm to inform me that a member of ScotRail staff was gathering a group of Montrose-bound passengers to travel in a taxi.
Thankfully, I managed to grab a space in the taxi, which left Aberdeen at 8pm, three-and-a-half hours after I had first arrived at the station, and I finally got home just after 9pm.
It is safe to say that I have never had the misfortune to deal with a company as disorganised, poorly managed and generally useless as ScotRail. At least three members of staff in Aberdeen station were truculent, moody and sarcastic when asked for information.
If the company is stripped of its operator's licence, it won't be a moment too soon.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Season 2008/2009: Match 5: Montrose v Berwick Rangers
Scottish football can be a sadistic bitch.
It's rarely inspiring, and seldom drags itself beyond the the barest levels of entertainment.
In fairness, I expected little from Saturday's matches, given that I'd been out the night before, finally leaving an Aberdeen night club when the house lights were switched on at 3am.
I was up again at 9am, catching a train home in time to be parked on the couch for Falkirk v Rangers, the opening match from the SPL.
Having watched Rangers sleepwalk their way to an undeserved victory over a far livelier Falkirk side, I set off to my fifth live match of the season, in the vain hope that Montrose would defeat Berwick to record their first win of the season.
It all started so well for the home side, Chris McLeod rising unchallenged to head home Stephen Black's free kick in the seventh minute.
But the expected flood never came. Montrose dominated the match, but couldn't find a second. And sure enough, the visitors equalised with six minutes remaining, David Grant poking the ball over the line following a goalmouth scramble.
It was harsh on Montrose, who have now taken just two points from their opening two matches - hardly the form expected of title favourites.
I now demand a steward's inquiry - Berwick shouldn't even be in the SCOTTISH Football League - unless the borders have shifted slightly....
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Is It Worth It?
At the age of 28, I should be at the peak of my physical and footballing prowess.
But another spanking in the Aberdeen Oil League last night has made a number of us aware that there's little enjoyment in paying almost £30 a month to take a weekly shoeing on the Aberdeen astroturf.
My recent footballing schedule has left me nursing the following injuries: tight calf muscles on both legs that feel as though they'll ping if I attempt anything strenuous like standing up or walking; a sprained wrist from an ill-advised spell in goals a while back; dodgy knees and ankles that have haunted me throughout more than 18 years of football; and what I now suspect may be a fractured bone in my foot from an 11-a-side match more than a month ago.
To be frank, I've been in better shape. And now I'm beginning to weigh up whether dragging my sorry carcass through the hard graft of competitive football is truly worth it.
But another spanking in the Aberdeen Oil League last night has made a number of us aware that there's little enjoyment in paying almost £30 a month to take a weekly shoeing on the Aberdeen astroturf.
My recent footballing schedule has left me nursing the following injuries: tight calf muscles on both legs that feel as though they'll ping if I attempt anything strenuous like standing up or walking; a sprained wrist from an ill-advised spell in goals a while back; dodgy knees and ankles that have haunted me throughout more than 18 years of football; and what I now suspect may be a fractured bone in my foot from an 11-a-side match more than a month ago.
To be frank, I've been in better shape. And now I'm beginning to weigh up whether dragging my sorry carcass through the hard graft of competitive football is truly worth it.
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