Pronunciation: Sha-den-froy-da
Function: Noun
Usage: Often capitalized
Etymology: German, from Schaden (damage) and Freude (joy)
Date: 1895
Definition: Enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others.
Greety pus
Pronunciation: Gree-tee pusssss
Function: Noun
Usage: Colloquial
Etymology: Scottish, from greet (cry) and pus (face)
Date: Late 20th century
Definition: A face that looks as though the wearer is struggling to hold back tears.
Never in my life have I been so determined to see a football team from a country I've never visited record a victory as was the case last night.
Due to my participation in a football match with my own team, I missed the first 15 minutes of England's humbling at Croatian hands (or feet) last night, turning on the television just as John Motson picked over the bones of the visiting side's second goal.
I watched in barely-controlled glee as half-time arrived with Croatia's lead in tact, and laughed out loud repeatedly during the half-time analysis, where you would have been hard pushed to find four better greety puses than those worn by Messrs Lineker, Hansen (traitor), Shearer and (especially) Wright. Wright's defence of his stepson Shaun Wright-Phillips' performance would have been heartbreaking, had it not been so amusing.
During this analysis, Hansen said words to the effect of "We've all [ie the pundits] played in massive games when things have gone wrong."
Well, Wright certainly has - he was a member of the last England squad to fail in its bid to reach a major championships, scoring four as England recovered from conceding a goal inside nine seconds to beat mighty San Marino 7-1 in 1993.
And so the second half got underway with Beckham taking up his customary position
This horror escalated as Beckham delivered a perfect cross to Crouch, whose finish under pressure in slippery conditions was magnificent (it's REALLY easy to talk up England's players when you know the final outcome, isn't it?)
Thankfully, Mladen Petric saved the rest of Europe from the ordeal of seeing England flounder at yet another major championship. And Scotland rejoiced.
Maybe it's small minded to take such pleasure from England's misfortune. I don't care. To misquote Renton from Trainspotting, I truly haven't felt this good about a football match since James McFadden scored against France.
One of the real highlights was the increasing desperation that crept into John Motson's commentary as the final whistle drew closer, culminating in a final, helpless "Pleeeeease" as Beckham delivered a final ineffective corner. And with the match finished and Croatia celebrating an historic win, suddenly Motson and Lawrenson seized on an ingenious escape route - Andorra, who had lost their previous 28 internationals, might just find an equaliser against Russia with three minutes remaining!
As I write this, the inevitable has happened - Steve McLaren has been made the fall guy for the FA's haplessness and his players' hopelessness. Already, names such as O'Neill, Scolari, Allardyce and Capello are being bandied about. At the moment, I don't care. It's just great to know that England's "Golden Generation" is going to achieve exactly the same on the international stage as their gifted forebears Carlton Palmer and Tony Daley - absolutely hee-haw.
The end of England's qualifying dream could also spell the end of a few of the players' international careers. Beckham may struggle to find favour with a new manager. Robinson and Carson will have to work hard to rebuild their reputations. David James is surely yesterday's man. But big decisions on the futures of Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard will almost certainly be shirked. Gerrard looked pedestrian last night, whilst Lampard, despite inexplicably being named man of the match last night, has struggled for England in recent years.
As for the proposed return of the Home Nations tournament - will England fancy it now that Scotland are immense and they are so patently weak? In fact, I'd be prepared to put money on both Scotland and Norn Iron having a right good go at England if the tournament was resurrected.
Bring it on.
3 comments:
typical narrow mided chip ridden jock! Aye we were shite but not as shite as the Scottish national team!
Well "Anonymous", it's good to see you're so proud of your national side that you're willing to put your name to your comment.
There was nothing narrow-minded about my post - England were shite throughout their group, finishing third in a comparitively weak pool, whereas Scotland finished third in a group containing both of the 2006 World Cup finalists and a quarter finalist from the same competition. England, needing only a home draw with Croatia to seal an undeserved qualification, failed to produce the goods, whereas Scotland were drawing with the world champions until the very last minute of their qualification campaign. I am quite confident that, with current squads and on current form, Scotland would defeat England home and away. Chip? What chip? For once, Scottish football has a reason to be proud - which is more than can be said of England.
Here Here Old Boy. Couldn't agree more. My brother posted something from the Daily Mash "Scotland Dies Laughing". Along the same lines and very funny.
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