Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Highly Charged

Ladies and Gentleman, and those of you who are neither, it seems that an English grandmother is staking a claim to be the first real-life member of the Heroes team to turn up here in Little Britain.

Sixty-year-old Mavis Price of Telford, Shropshire, claims she only has to touch an electrical appliance to break it.

Apparently, Mavis' explosive problem is caused by her body generating too much static electricity.

Understandably, she's a bit perturbed at this affliction, but I can't help feeling that she's missing an incredible employment opportunity.

Maybe the possibility of being a circus "freak" doesn't appeal too much to Granny Mavis, and that's to be accepted.

But just think how much her powers would be worth in a military capacity, to housebreakers or terrorists - she could take out vehicles, CCTV cameras, computers, tracking systems and the like just by touching them. Burglar alarms could be rendered useless just by having Mavis wave her electrohands in their general vicinity.

Admittedly, a robust lady in her 60s isn't the easiest addition to the master criminal's toolbag, but the advantages are bound to outweigh the difficulties.

Let's get her an ancient samurai sword, a natty costume and film her in action - sounds like a great show to me.


Erica said...

This reminds me of the commercial we have running here in the States, about a guy who, everything he touches turns to Skittles.

Oh, hey....I just found the YouTube of it...


What will they think of next?

Anonymous said...

.... yeah, but at 60, how long does it take her to recharge after a breakage?...


Tommy said...

That's funny. There was a news story I saw not real long ago about a kid with a similar problem...he was messing up his school's computers in their lab, simply by touching them.

Me? I can't get of my truck this winter, and touch something metal without yelping.

So maybe there's something there...

Burgess said...

There is a person here in Portland Maine that was having terrible trouble with static electricity so he researched and researched and came up with something he calls the Staticoff Static Zapper. His invention was covered by the local paper. You can read the article at:
He has also posted a "funny" commercial on youtube:

Matthew said...

Spending $10.00 per light switch to install a special piece of hardware strikes me as cumbersome and unnecessary. There are a lot of options for reducing static electricity. For the cost of installing a house full of StaticOff devices you COULD add a whole house humidifier to a forced air heating system. A whole house humidifier has the advantage of also reducing issues with dry skin and sinus irritation.