I think I've found my ideal job.
I want to be an Evolutionary Theorist.
News on the BBC's website today tells us that Oliver Curry, who fills that role at the London School of Economics, predicts that in 1,000 years' time, mankind will have evolved into a 7ft-tall, muscular master race with symetrical faces, big penises (or penii) and pert breasts (note: most of the master race won't have both a big penis and pert breasts).
But, 100,000 years down the line, mankind will have grown so over-reliant on technology that the species will split into two distinct factions - just as HG Wells predicted more than 100 years ago in The Time Machine.
I'm not sure how much an Evolutionary Theorist gets paid for working at the London School of Economics, but I'm willing to bet it's a pretty penny. And it sounds like money for old rope - sit around reading 100-year-old science fiction, rename the two tribes, add a little bit of impossible-to-prove-or-disprove "theorising" and pass the whole caboodle off as an exciting prediction of the future of our species.
By the time we reach the year 3,000, Curry will be long dead and won't care whether his theories were right or wrong.
And by the year 100,000, we'll all just be floating brains that plug into the universal mainframe each night to listen to Elvis and The Beatles, whilst the dolphins do all the menial tasks like emptying bins and delivering the mail.
That's my theory. When do I start my new job?
3 comments:
Hey, if you get that job, hire me as your research assistant. I'll bring the Shiner beer if you'll supply the Scotch Whiskey.
Personally I can't wait I have everything apart from being 7ft-tall, muscular with a symetrical face, bring it on.
So...if you don't hire walrilla, can I be your assistant? I promise I won't care what you say in 100 years!
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