Herge's Adventures of Groanin' Jock

Happy New Year to you all. Mrs Wife and I are now back on Scottish soil following our jaunt to Brussels for Hogmanay.

The weather held up for most of the trip, only turning to freezing rain on our final day in Belgium, although we did encounter some snow at Waterloo.

What have we discovered from our time on the continent?

1) When chocolate is found in any state other than completely solid, I am a serious risk to myself and others around me. This applies to drinking chocolate, chocolate fountains, the fillings found inside individual chocolates and the cocoa dusting applied to truffels. In short, if you want to avoid chocolate/clothes-based mishaps, minimise my involvement.

2) Belgium, located almost slap-bang in the middle of western Europe, has acquired facets of its national characteristics from its neighbours. These include the humility and good manners of the French, the the stunning good looks of the Germans and the Italians' attitude to queuing. As Misssy warned me, the Belgians ain't too good-looking. Mrs Wife disagrees, and reckons that the men aren't too bad. But most of the women are horrors. Nonetheless, their cooking is pretty good and their beer is unsurpassed.

3) I don't know how I've lasted almost 28 years on this planet without experiencing cherry beer, which now joins pear cider amongst my favourite drinks. "Un grand Mort Subite, S'il vous plait" is the one French phrase I truly mastered whilst in Brussels.

And now we have a weekend of recovery before returning to the wonderful world of work. Thankfully, most of the snow seems to have gone, so I've been spared the nightmare Montrose to Aberdeen drive in the dark during a blizzard. Hurrah!

2007 AD

Well, the turkey is but a distant memory and I daren't even approach the bathroom scales for fear of them spontaneously combusting simply from being in my orbit, so I guess that Xmas is now officially over.

Which means that attentions must now turn towards New Year, which for Mrs Wife and myself means a night in a Prestwick hotel before we fly to Brussels and our week with the party-hard Belgians.

Mrs Wife has already been on the case finding suitable entertainment in Europe's Capital, and it seems that we'll spend the final hour of 2007 watching fireworks in one of Brussels' parks, and will spend New Year's Day at a vast Xmas market.

As far as I'm concerned, as long as the holiday involves copious amounts of Belgian beer and chocolate, and perhaps a trip out to Waterloo, I'll be happy.

Because I'll be in Brussels and unwilling, unable or too inebriated to blog, I'll take this opporchanceity to wish one and all a Happy New Year.

Brussels Out

In the past few weeks, I've been taking sporadic stick from several of my acquaintances on account of my plans for New Year.

The reason for these jibes is that Mrs Wife and I will spend the last few days of 2007 and the opening few of 2008 in Brussels.

Faced with the options of Montrose, Brechin, Oban and Edinburgh, none of which were met with great enthusiasm, we decided to look beyond Scotland's border for suitable alternatives.

We briefly toyed with the idea of a cruise to the Low Countries, but the prospect of spending two days on a boat with some geriatrics didn't overly fill us with excitement.

Consideration was also given to a package holiday, basking in the sun in some Mediterranean resort, with only the all-inclusive bar and a pile of paperbacks for company.

But instead, after a bit of hunting around and a cobbled-together plan of action, we settled on Brussels, for no better reason than it's not in Scotland.

Since then, when I've relayed these plans to friends, several have started laughing, with comments generally taking a form along the lines of: "Oh yes, the party-hard Belgians, renowned worldwide for their Hogmanay celebrations!"

Frankly, I don't care. A strange city, home to more than 400 varieties of strong beer and probably as many exciting strains of the world's best chocolate sounds as good a place as any to see in the New Year.

But now, in keeping with the spirit of my friends' mickey-taking, I challenge you, dear readers, to name ten famous Belgians. Off the top of my head, I can only really think of Jean-Claude Van Damme and Poirot, who doesn't count because he's not real. Professional footballers don't count either, because none of them are truly famous in the real sense of the word (apologies to Messrs Buffel, Valgaeren, Degryse and Albert). Good luck, and no using Google or Wikipedia.