Calling All Junior Scientists!

Google Science Fair is now open! Ages 13-18 can compete for internships and scholarships.



Google is looking for the brightest, best young scientists from around the world to submit interesting, creative projects that are relevant to the world today.

Who can enter?

The competition is open to students aged 13 to 18 from around the world working on their own or in a team of two or three. For more details, visit the Science Fair Rules page.

How to enter

• If you don't already have one, create a Google Account. You will need a Google Account to complete the sign up form.
• Complete the Google Science Fair sign up form. After you submit the form, you will see an important link on the confirmation page. This link will create the Google project submission site where you will post your science fair project details. Signed up but can’t find the link? Click here to create your Google project submission site.
• Plan your science project, conduct your experiment, and write up your results.
• Complete all of the sections of your Google project submission site (see sample project submission site).
• Create either a two-minute video or 20-slide presentation giving an overview of your project and embed it on the Summary page of your project submission. A video or presentation is required to enter.
• When your project site is done, make sure to submit it via this form by 4 April 2011.

Detailed instructions and tips for building your project submission can be found in the Resources section of this website.

Please note: Entries and supporting documentation must be submitted in English. Google Translate is a free tool that may be useful for students who don't speak English as a first language.

Season 2010/2011: Match 17: Montrose v Albion Rovers

Last week Montrose were good for 45 minutes.

Today they were atrocious for 90.

No-one enjoys sitting in a freezing cold shed and watching joiners, plumbers and assassins-for-hire playing football in a strong wind and hammering rain.

I very much doubt that the players enjoy turning up and getting paid three Haribo and a cup of warm orange juice for "playing" in those conditions.

But Jesus fuck, if you're going to charge idiots like me £10 to get in, at least make it look as though you're interested.

There were no plus points from today's performance. Not one of the players who turned out for Montrose can be happy with their contribution.

I normally reserve scant praise for the younger lads who lack the experience to know what it takes to grind out a result in those circumstances.

But every single player looked devoid of ideas. Presumably that's filtering down from the management. I don't know if Steven Tweed was telling his players to attempt to thump it long in the first half, but a surely even a schoolchild could understand that if the ball leaves the ground and is fighting against a strong headwind, you're never going to get it very far.

Montrose's back four couldn't grasp that, and it was a miracle (and the result of some extraordinarily bad finishing from Albion Rovers) that they were only a goal down at half time.

Several times this season Montrose have looked like a shambles in the first half but come good in the second. Tweed tried his usual masterplan of bringing Martin Boyle on at half time, but even his pace and enthusiasm couldn't ignite Montrose.

John "Beast" Gemmell scored after seven minutes and Scott Chaplain added a second 15 minutes from the end. Montrose never looked like scoring.

Some observations:

A) Dougie Cameron is Montrose's self-designated throw-in taker. No matter where on the left the ball goes out of play, Doooooooogie wants - no, NEEDS - to take the throw-in. The number of effective throw-ins from Mr Cameron today - 0.

B) Dougie Cameron can spin on the ball like Zidane one minute than shank a simple pass out for a throw-in 30 seconds later.

C) Dougie Cameron, like Zinedine Zidane, is bald.

D) That's where the comparison ends.

E) Playing a left-footed player on the right and right-footed player on the left doesn't work. Especially not in Division Three.

Highlight of the game for me was seeing Sandy Wood jump to catch a ball that was flying out for a throw-in. While standing in the dugout.

He nearly decapitated himself and Steven Tweed spent the next five minutes looking at his now reserve keeper with a look that said: "Now you know why I dropped you in favour of an Argentine mime artist-cum-interpretive dance master who wears white leggings, white gloves and a snood and can only kick with his left foot, even if he was previously standing on same left foot".

Says it all really when the highlight is watching a grown man bump his head.

Man of the Match: No-one deserves praise from that match. Not one of them looked like doing something worthwhile. If I was forced to pick one I'd probably go for Stephen McNally for occasionally looking like he'd played football at least once in the past.

This Didn't Happen At My School

 

Season 2010/2011: Match 16: East Stirlingshire v Montrose

On Friday night I was in Glasgow to witness Liam Gallagher's second coming as lead singer of the abysmally-named Beady Eye.

I was accompanied by a Falkirk-based friend, and before setting off to Glasgow that night we were trying to decide what to do on Saturday. I'd forgotten that the Mighty Mo were also in town to take on homeless East Stirlingshire, but when we spotted that one on the fixtures list, it seemed to be written in the stars.

So at 3pm on Saturday I found myself straddling the thin line between lager hangover and cider drunkeness as we entered Ochilview (or Lesser Firs Park as the stadium announcer would have it).

As is their style, Montrose were honking in the first half and could easily have been a few goals down, having inexplicably survived when Shire's claims for a clear penalty were waved away. They were actually only one goal down at the break, but they'd been very poor and were lucky even to have nil in their own "goals for" column.

The previous week I'd seen The Tosh go into psycho Terminator mode when Hugh Davidson accidentally got in the striker's way. This week it was Nicky Smith incurring The Tosh's rage, and the 1,000-yard stare focused on the youngster was enough to scare the fuck out of me, sitting 50 yards away in the stand.

The Tosh didn't make it for the second half, and I'm impressed that Steven Tweed had the balls to sub him. Martin Boyle came on to a standing ovation from the vocal away fans, and made an instant impact, levelling the scores inside 30 seconds.

Nicky Smith took pelters from the small group of fans sitting beside me in the stand, and when he scored what proved to be the winner, he wasted no time in turning to his critics and giving them a "who's laughing now pricks?" point.

Montrose were a different team in the second half with the introductions of Boyle and Fraser Milligan, who was a constant threat down the right. They deserved their win based on that second half performance, but if the match had ended after 45 minutes Shire would have been worthy winners.

That's the first Montrose away game I've been to since Jim Leishman got sent to the stand against Brechin City many moons ago, and it was a good laugh, especially sitting in the "away" "end".

Surely we can't finish bottom of the league now?.....

Man of the Match: A few contenders from the second half. Stephen McNally led the team well, but some of his passing was a bit awry at times. The defence was mostly solid, and had to be given Romiro Gonzalez's continuing attempts to redfine goalkeeping as a comedy dance routine. But there can only be one real winner - Martin Boyle, fleet-footed goalscorer extraordinaire.

Season 2010/2011: Match 15: Montrose v Queen's Park

The weather was almost summery when I left the house bound for the North Sea Nou Camp at 2pm, but by kick off a chill had set in.

That change in the weather might have been an omen, as Montrose were very poor today. The first half was a fast-paced affair, and both sides created chances. But it was the Hampden men who scored, Montrose failing to heed the warning delivered a minute earlier.

Daryll Meggett had connected with Martin McBride's corner in the 34th minute, debutant Montrose goalkeeper Ramiro Gonzalez punching off the line.

But an indentical delivery found the same player a minute later and this time his header flew into the net.

Montrose had had a definite penalty turned down earlier in the half when the goalscorer had tripped Paul Tosh in the box, but otherwise Montrose had offered little.

The second half was a slower affair, and Queen's Park created the bulk of the chances. Montrose struggled to find their rhythym, and key players Aaron Sinclair and Paul Tosh were largely anonymous.

Queen's Park put the result beyond doubt in the last 10 minutes, Paul McGinn cutting into the box from the left wing and hammering a shot across Gonzalez and into the far side of the net.

It was no less than the visitors deserved.

Montrose have picked up one point from the last nine, and need to begin demonstrating the ability that the squad is undoubtedly capable of.

Man of the Match: No genuine contenders from the home side, and too many players didn't turn up today. Stephen McNally, playing in central midfield, showed occasional flashes of inspiration, but disappeared for most of the second half. I'll go with Sean Crighton, who gave a no-nonsense defensive performance despite playing at right back instead of his normal centre back.

Fox In The Box

From ex-Celtic player Danny Fox's Wikipedia entry.

Season 2010/2011: Match 14: Montrose v Berwick Rangers

There are some days when the build-up to a football match is less than inspiring.

It's been raining in Angus for the best part of 24 hours, and the fixtures at Forfar and Montrose were postponed as a result.

But Montrose have a green carpet instead of a pitch, and their encounter with Berwick beat the weather.

Only 301 hardy souls ventured out for the match, and the first half was nearly as dreich as the weather.

Referee Eddie Smith was at least partly responsible for that, failing to award a penalty and instead booking Conor Thomson for a dive when the young striker was clattered by Steven Notman in the 20th minute.

The second half was better entertainment, Paul Tosh putting Montrose ahead from the penalty spot after Jamie Ewart handled in the box.

Montrose's lead lasted only nine minutes, Craig O'Reilly heading the ball over Sandy Wood to level the scores.

Tosh could have snatched a winner deep into second half injury time, sliding in to connect with Thomson's pass but poking the ball wide of the post.

A decent performance from Montrose, although there were too many fouls and too many stray passes for them to look properly threatening. Ross McCord, Hugh Davidson, Paul Tosh and Conor Thomson all looked dangerous in short spells, but never all at the same time.

Man of the match: Hugh Davidson was probably the pick of the bunch for Montrose, looking calm in an occasionally heated midfield battle. He looked confident on the ball and sprayed some decent passes during the course of the afternoon.

Season 2010/2011: Match 13: Montrose v Clyde

Back in September, Montrose trounced Clyde 8-1 at Links Park when the visitors had two men sent off.

The chances of a repeat this weekend were always very slim, but Montrose's fans were still confident of a win over Division Three's basement boys.

It all looked very unlikely in the first half when Clyde came roaring out of the traps. If they could have finished their chances, they'd easily have been three or more ahead at the break.

Ultimately though, it was only one goal that separated the two sides at half time, and that strike came three minutes into stoppage time. Montrose's marking was atrocious, and Marc McCusker had time and space to turn in the box and slam a shot beyond Sandy Wood.

Thankfully for those of us of a blue persuasion, it took only two minutes of the second half for Montrose to equalise. Ross McCord was tripped in the box and Paul Tosh made no mistakes from the spot.

Montrose were further ahead nine minutes later when McCord curled a corner to the near post and Sean Crighton (who otherwise had a match to forget) bulleted a header into the net.

The result was put beyond doubt nine minutes from time when Stephen McNally burst forward, stumbled through a challenge and slipped the ball to Boyle, who had the simple task of firing the ball into the empty net.

To fall back on a cliche, it was a game of two halves - Montrose were dire in the first and would have had no complaints had they found themselves several goals down at the break. But there was a fire about them in the second, and they looked far more confident and dangerous.

If they can play as they did in the second half more often, Montrose have the makings of a good side. But if they continue to make mistakes as they did in the first half, they'll struggle against better sides than Clyde.

Man of the Match: No real contenders from the first period, although Sandy Wood did well to keep Clyde at bay until the third minute of stoppage time. They were much better in the second, and Paul Tosh, Stephen McNally, Ross McCord and Wood again all had a great closing 45 minutes. But for his work rate and never-say-die attitude, Martin Boyle, introduced as a half time substitute, gets my nod this week.

Season 2010/2011: Match 12: Montrose v Annan Athletic

Any football team missing its most creative midfield player and top goalscorer through illness is going to struggle.

Add in an injured centre back and a suspended right back and the team in question would normally be written off before the match has even kicked off.

Especially when that team is Montrose, a side well-versed in the art of taking mediocrity to ever more mediocre non-heights.

But inexplicably, Montrose were half decent yesterday despite missing Ross McCord, Paul Tosh, Steven Tweed and Chris Hegarty.

Neither side offered much in the way of genuine attacking threat, but both Montrose and Annan approached the match with a great degree of gusto.

Annan wanted to hammer the ball into the net from 40 yards, Bryan Gilfillan frequently testing Sandy Wood from long range. Montrose were more focused on getting the ball in front of Martin Boyle and Conor Thomson, but what the two youngsters offer in pace they perhaps lack in composure.

The match appeared to be petering out into a 0-0 draw when Kevin Neilson rose in the 92nd minute to connect with a deep cross, head the ball back across Wood and into the bottom corner.

It was harsh on Montrose, who were worth at least a point.

Annan should only have had 10 men on the park at that point, Peter Watson incredibly lucky to avoid a straight red card for shoving Hugh Davidson to the ground after a heavy challenge.

There were positives for Montrose despite the result, and last season they might have lost this match 3-0. Mid-table obscurity may be the best the side can hope for this season, but that's a significant improvement for last season's Worst Team In Scotland.

Friday Ten: My 10 Rangers Cult Heroes

And no, cult isn't a mistype before I get any smart-ass comments.

 

I'm currently reading a book called Rangers Cult Heroes that mysteriously deems John Greig (European trophy-winning captain, 20 years at Rangers as a player, later manager and club director), Ally McCoist (all-time club top goalscorer. Current assistant manager and manager-elect) and Jim Baxter (widely regarded as one of the most talented players in Rangers and Scotland history) to be cult heroes.

 

So here's my own personal alternative list:

 

1: Mark Walters - When I first became properly interested in football, Walters was the Ibrox wing king. Fast and creative, he was in the first Rangers team I ever saw in the flesh.

 

2: Rino Gattuso - In his days before becoming a World Cup and Champions League-winning dynamo in the heart of the AC Milan midfield, Rino Gattuso was a terrier as Rangers missed out on 10-in-a-row at the final hurdle.

 

3: Terry Hurlock - With long greasy hair and vaseline on his eyebrows, Terry Hurlock looked more like a wrestler when he entered the field of play. Anyone described as a "Millwall hardman" is going to add substantial grit to a team. I think that to this day, Mither thinks his name was Terry Warlock.

 

4: Dale Gordon - Scored twice on his Rangers debut, joining the nine-in-a-row squad during its unchallenged superiority, and managed to score a fair few goals despite competing for them with Messrs McCoist and Hateley.

 

5: Pieter Huistra - Effectively forced out of Ibrox by the arrival of Brian Laudrup, Huistra was another foreign-born wing wizard. Five league medals, two league cup medals and a Scottish Cup medal tell their own story, but many was the hour I spent in the garden attempting to teach myself to turn with the ball like Huistra did.

 

6: Charlie Adam - Fat, slow, not overly disposed to defensive duties, loathe to track back. Possessor of a powerful shot and capable of scoring spectacular goals. Charlie Adam is my most recently departed cult hero thanks to the fact that he is the professional football player I am currently closest to resembling.

 

7: Jorg Albertz - The Hammer. Everything that made Albertz a crowd favourite at Ibrox was packed into that steamhammer left peg. I remember seeing an unfortunate East Fife defender take an Albertz free kick in the balls from 10 yards, and heard the whole ground groan on his behalf.

 

8: Alan McGregor - Still at Ibrox, but I think that of all the current Ibrox players, Shagger has the most unique bond. He features frequently in the tabloid gossip columns, and my favourite McGregor moment came as he took to the field at Tannadice for a match with Dundee Utd and greeted the chants of "Shagger, Shagger gies a wave" with a subtle nod of the head.

 

9: Nacho Novo - There's only one Nacho Novo - famously turned down the chance to sign for Celtic and became an immediate Ibrox favourite as a result. Scored a barrowload of goals in a Rangers team that was frequently uninspiring. And he sings The Bouncy in a heavy Spanish accent.

 

10: Maurice Johnston - My first favourite Rangers player. Probably the most controversial player in the club's history. But I didn't fully understand the religious overtones (or that his time as an ex-Celtic player counted against him). I was gutted when he was packed off to Everton to make way for the McCoist-Hateley partnership.

Season 2010/2011: Match 11: Montrose v Dunfermline Athletic

Montrose really are one of the most perplexing sides in Scottish football.

Last week they were torn apart by Arbroath, losing five goals and two men at home in the Angus derby.

Yesterday they took the lead against full time opponents Dunfermline, failed to collapse as had been predicted and were unlucky to lose an equaliser.

It looked as though they were heading out of the Scottish Cup when Dunfermline went ahead with 10 minutes remaining, but Paul Tosh slammed home an injury time equaliser to book a replay at East End Park.

Before the match, I thought Montrose would lose at least six goals. But they played well, limiting Dunfermline to long range efforts and attempts from corners.

When they took the lead, it was well deserved, Tosh racing onto a through ball before turning the ball into the bottom corner. They then defended excellently until 17 minutes from the end, and Sandy Wood was unlucky to be beaten by Patrick Clarke's long range effort.

Montrose heads could have gone down when Andy Kirk was quickest to react when David Graham's free kick clattered off the far post to poke the ball over the line.

But Tosh sent the Montrose fans home happy, taking a touch outside the box after Stephen McNally's long throw had been cleared and thumping the ball into the roof of the net.

Steven Tweed had probably his best game in a Montrose shirt, leading the line with authority. Sandy Wood was desperately unlucky with both goals. Ross McCord was combative and creative in midfield. And Paul Tosh showed the younger and supposedly better strikers on the park how to be an effective target man, constantly creating space for himself and others around him.

If Montrose could play like that every week, they'd be romping Division Three. But they don't, and recent league performances have been barely deserving of mid-table mediocrity.

Maybe the times they are a'changing....

Man of the Match: For generally making a nuisance of himself, for running around non-stop despite his advancing years and for two great finishes to keep Montrose in the cup, it can only been Paul Tosh.

Season 2010/2011: Match 10: Montrose v Arbroath

Some days it's great being a football fan. Days when your team wins, when the sun shines, when you can revel in the camaraderie of your fellow supporters.

And some days it's totally shite being a football fan. Days when you watch your favourite team lose 2-0 at home to their fiercest rivals, sitting alone in a pub drinking £2 pints of Coke because your mate didn't turn up. Then subjecting yourself to freezing conditions while the team you follow week in, week out lose five goals and two men in a local derby.

Aye, some days it's shite being a football fan.

The Old Firm match was crap, neither side truly looked up for it, but the Mhanky Mhob got the win thanks to a brace from greasy Greek Giorgios Samaras. Rangers had the better of the first half but were garbage in the second. Celtic are top of the league but Rangers can leapfrog them by winning their two games in hand.

After that wasted 90 minutes I headed to Links Park for Montrose v Arbroath. A lively game looked like going Montrose's way around 20 minutes in when they had a few chances in quick succession.

But Arbroath scored twice in seven minutes, Montrose had Chris Hegarty sent off and the second half saw an epic collapse. Gordon Pope joined Hegarty in the early bath for a second yellow and the nine-man hosts ended up losing 5-0.

By the end, the Montrose end of the North Sea Nou Camp was nearly empty and Arbroath's fans were bouncing around and taking the piss with gleeful abandon. The visitors were well worthy of their win, although referee Des Roache had an awful match. If Hegarty was sent off for his foul on Gibson, then it was harsh, although the defender did himself no favours by shoving the official out of the road and storming off in a huff.

Pope talked himself into the book for his first yellow card and committed a needless foul for his second.

About the only plus point was Sandy Wood saving a Swankie penalty to deny the striker a hat-trick, then recovering brilliantly to block Danny Griffin's volley from the rebound.

Dire. Absolutely dire. Lots of shouts for Montrose manager Steven Tweed to resign at the final whistle, and he may be losing the crowd irreparably.

Man of the Match: Hahahahahaha. Aye, right. Hegarty might have been worth considering if he'd stayed on the park, as his crosses were looking decent until he was sent off. He might even have made it if he'd given Paul Sheerin or referee Roache a thump on the nose on his way off. I suppose I could give it to Martin Boyle for running around a bit, or Sandy Wood for saving the penalty (that he conceded). Ach, bugger it. Hegarty it is, for emptying Gibson then having a hissy fit that threatened to spark a brawl.

The 2010 Jock Awards

It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid.....it's time for the annual trip through my brain to see what's been keeping me entertained this year.

 

The Stone Roses Award for Album of the Year: (Nominees: Tame Impala - Innerspeaker; Warpaint - Fool; Massive Attack - Heligoland; Arcade Fire - The Suburbs; I Am Kloot - Sky At Night)

In a world where my favourite bands are starting to pack it in for good with frightening regularity, I don't think 2010 has been a vintage year for long players. Of those that have stirred me, Warpaint's Fool is the best, a proggy, bass-driven collage of melodies from four LA rock chicks.

 

The Strawberry Fields Forever Award for Single of the Year: (Nominees: Plan B - She Said; Mark Ronson & The Business Int'l - Bike Song; Warpaint - Undertow; Scrooge & Marley - I Don't Want It To Be Me)

I've not been entirely blown away by the quality of singles on offer this year either. The Streets' Mike Skinner and The Music's Rob Harvey collaborating on the Christmas track I Don't Want It To Be Me comes close, as does the little hairy oik from The View singing with Mark Ronson's image restoration project on Bike Song. But the catchiest, most soulful and snappiest track of the year is undeniably Plan B's She Said, transforming the man himself from acoustic hip-hop agitator into crooning soul legend.

 

The Rolling Stones Award for Live Act of the Year: (Nominees: The Black Keys, Black Mountain, Eminem, Paul McCartney, Muse)

I'm going to sound like a right miserable bastard if this continues, but I've not seen a lot of great live music this year. Having seen Dylan, Young, AC/DC, Them Crooked Vultures and Take That last season, 2010 was always going to struggle to keep up. Muse and Macca tower over the others. Another year, Muse might have won. But this was the first time I'd seen a Beatle in the flesh. A slowish start, but when Macca gets into his greatest hits stride, there's not an act on Earth could come close. The setlist is here - look at the run from Band On The Run onwards. Let It Be into Live and Let Die into Hey Jude is probably as good a 15 minutes of live music as I've ever seen.

 

The Goodfellas Award for Movie of the Year: (Nominees: Inception, Kick Ass, Iron Man 2, The A-Team, Toy Story 3)

Quite a decent year for movies, even if not all of my nominees would necessarily trouble the Oscars judging panel. All of them would be worthy winners, and Inception's maybe slightly pretentious dream-thief plot might have been my choice on another day. But today I'm going for Kick Ass, because I love Mark Millar's work, loved the comics on which it's based and thought the movie made a remarkable job of bringing them to life.

 

The Knight Rider Award for TV Programme of the Year: (Nominees: The Walking Dead, Spooks, Misfits, The Event)

Another good year in TV, and my favourites all seem to have a sci-fi, action or comic books theme. Misfits is very funny and would be a worthy winner, but the adaptation of The Walking Dead is magnificent (although I'm not sure why Andrew Lincoln got the nod to play an Atlanta policeman). But the interpretation of a zombie-filled southern US is incredible.

 

The Marilyn Monroe Award for Babe of the Year: (Nominees: Salma Hayek, Cheryl Cole, Michelle Keegan, Holly Willoughby)

As always, Mrs Wife is the hands-down winner of this category, and is looking even more radiant in pregnancy. So the well-deserved runner-up this year is another pregnant beauty, Holly Willoughby. Why? Here's why.

 

The Jet Set Willy Award for Computer Game of the Year: (Nominees: The Beatles Rock Band, Football Manager 2010, Super Mario Brothers Wii, Goldeneye)

In a shock twist, I haven't actually bought the newest incarnation of Football Manager, as I'm very happily still playing FM10. I've enjoyed The Beatles Rock Band a lot, given that it blends two of my favourite things (jumping about like a prat and singing like a donkey going through a jet engine). I've enjoyed Super Mario Brothers Wii even more, but I'm going to give the award to Goldeneye, which I won't get to play until tomorrow, and only then if Santa thinks I've been good. But I've been waiting for this game for more than a decade. It can't possibly fail....

 

The Godfather III Award for Biggest Disappointment of the Year: (Nominees: Eminem - Recovery; Tame Impala - Innerspeaker; Beady Eye - Bring The Light)

Nothing too majorly disappointing this year. Although I nominated Tame Impala for album of the year, I also felt that it could have been so much better. The early songs I heard promised a lot, but I thought the album itself had a bit of filler on it. But that was nothing compared with the half-baked gibberish of Recovery, lauded by some as a return to form by Marshall. A couple of good tracks, but nothing more.

 

The Screamadelica Award for Scottish Album of the Year: (Nominees: Miyagi - Electrosaurus)

One nominee, the deserved winners being my favourite Edinburgh-based acoustic-electric-cello-sax-singing-drummer band. The only band in the country who would ever let me play guiro on stage with them.

 

 

 

Six-Month Countdown

Six months today (according to the best estimates of People Who Know About These Things at the NHS), Mrs Wife and I will have our world thrown into chaos with the arrival of our first Jockling.

 

It's been a long time happening - we originally planned to increase the size of our family back in 2008, but thanks to wonky genes we discovered that our chances of conceiving naturally were exactly 0%.

 

Since then we've been through a series of tests and procedures that have variously been invasive, demoralising and depressing.

 

But the miracles of science have prevailed. Thanks to the wonderful people at Ninewells Hospital's Assisted Conception Unit, Jockling #1 is currently scheduled for arrival on June 11.

 

Medical science truly is incredible. If we'd been born 30 years earlier, we'd have had no chance of ever having a baby of our own. We might never have found out for sure that there was a problem.

 

Instead, we are now looking forward to welcoming a child that is half me and half Mrs Wife into the world.

 

Excited doesn't even begin to cover it. We're past the crucial 12 weeks period and Jockling #1 is the right size. At our 12 week scan it was jumping about like Mario on a particularly good day of coin collecting and mushroom guzzling. It was also sucking its thumb between bounces.

 

Mrs Wife has still to warm to my suggested name of Laudrup McCoist Hateley Durrant Gascoigne, or John Lennon if it's a boy, but I've got six months to work on that.

 

And have as many nights out, attend as many gigs and get as much sleep as I can.

Friday Ten: My Ten Favourite Oasis Songs

(Or my ten favourite right this second anyway)

 

1: Supersonic

 

2: Acquiesce

 

3: Live Forever

 

4: Morning Glory

 

5: Champagne Supernova

 

6: Fuckin' In The Bushes

 

7: The Importance Of Being Idle

 

8: Talk Tonight

 

9: D'You Know What I Mean?

 

10: Whatever

Movember: Day 30: Mover and Out

30 motastic days are now up. The picture above is the last of my moustache in all its dubious glory.


Moing, mowing....A tribute to Charlie Chaplin (a style also adopted by some other less talented fella).


...gone. The first time in 30 days my face has been clean-shaven. I feel naked without my mouzer.

Thanks to all who have donated and helped me raise almost £500 for prostate cancer research. It's not too late to donate, just follow this link.

Movember: Day 26

And now the end is near....just four more days of moustacheness to go before I can shave it off.

Please support prostate cancer research by sponsoring my disturbing moustache here.

Season 2010/2011: Match 9: Montrose v Whitehill Welfare

Montrose got back to winning ways yesterday with a 3-1 win over East of Scotland League side Whitehill Welfare.

The result wasn't anywhere as comfortable as the scoreline suggests, Montrose competing against 10 men from the 38th minute onwards and scoring two of their goals from the penalty spot.

It was a fast-paced game, but Montrose seemed to lack composure throughout, resorting to long punts up the pitch when their numerical advantage should have given them licence to pass the ball around and dictate the pace.

The home side were a goal down inside eight minutes, Daniele Giordano having a rush of blood to the head. The goalkeeper made a mess of a clearance, sending it straight to an unmarked midfielder on the edge of the box and watching helplessly as the ball was sent straight back over his head and into the empty net.

The goal was against the run of play, but Montrose struggled to come back from it. They evantually scored an equaliser when Tosh netted from the spot after he had been tripped in the box by Alan Cornet.

It was deja vu for Whitehill in the 38th minute when Tosh again scored from the spot, this time after Cornet had picked up his second yellow card for handball.

Playing against 10 men, Montrose should have dominated the second half, but it took them until the 75th minute to find the third goal that killed off this Scottish Cup Third Round tie, Gordon Pope volleying home from a Ross McCord corner.

All in all, it was a deserved win that was reached in a more roundabout fashion than was necessary. A couple of injury worries as well, Hugh Davidson again limping off injured in the first half and Giordano swapped for Sandy Wood 15 minutes from the end.

But we're into the Fourth round. Let's hope the draw brings Rangers to Links Park.

Man of the Match: A fast-paced match suited some of Montrose's more attack-minded players, including Aaron Sinclair, Martin Boyle (given a much-deserved starting place) and Paul Tosh. Stephen McNally was also a constant creative hub. But Ross McCord was at the heart of all of Montrose's attacking moves, and was unlucky not to score himself. The youngster is really growing in confidence and should have a good future ahead of him.

Movember: Day 20

At Eric's request - a Movember update. Please support prostate cancer research by sponsoring my facial hair growth at the Movember website.

Genius or Madness?

In this case - 75-year-old William Lyttle has been digging tunnels underneath his Hackney house for 40-odd years - I think the correct term is madness....