Nosin' Around

Hmmmm, Jock said he was nipping out for something to eat. At least that's what I think he said...

Sorry, should introduce myself. I'm The Tomahawk Kid and I thought I would have a quick nosey round Dungroanin' and see what I could find......but it looks like someone beat me to it.

The drinks cabinet is empty, so is the biscuit tin, and the old sofa Jock keeps in the porch looks like it has been used as a trampoline by a passing rugby team!

Very strange...

Had he been here, Jock would no doubt have posted his thoughts on the footie this week.

First we had a thoroughly enthralling Champions League final between Manchester United and Chelsea that went all the way to sudden death penalties before United eventually emerged victorious. Glorious stuff and gripping television. I think that Man Utd probably deserved the win following their first half performance but credit to Chelsea for coming back strongly and bossing the second half.

Last night saw Rangers and Celtic vying to win the SPL championship. Both teams were level on points but Rangers were behind on goal difference and were looking to score heavily against Aberdeen whilst hoping that Dundee United would do something against the 'Tic.

Sadly for Rangers (not), Aberdeen once again raised their game and handed out a solid 2-0 beating whilst down the road Celtic just edged past The Arabs.

Funniest moment of the night was when with only 5 minutes left to play the Aberdeen fans started singing en masse to the Rangers fans "Why the f*ck are you still here?"

Whilst I go and find someplace to secrete an Arbroath Smokie, so that the place is nice and fragrant for Jock's return, I will leave you with a hilarious clip of a TV presenter totally losing it..

TTFN

TTK

p.s. What are all these copies of "The Celtic View" doing hidden under the bed?

Housesitting at Dungroanin'

Hello all fans of Groaning Jock.

Jock has kindly left me the keys to his butt 'n' ben over the next couple of weeks. Something about humanitarian aid to China... Anyway, I'm Misssy from The Misssy Martin Misssives. And while look under the bed for porn and check out if he's left any decent biscuits in the biscuit tin, I thought I'd start off with something that I think is typical Jock fayre.

Some very clever people over at Mensa have complied a list of new words, for a laugh. The game is you take a dictionary word, and alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition..

Here are some of the best ones:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

After reading these, I started to think of some of my own but I wanted to have a go at doing some that are all about this thing we do called blogging.

A Brog: A blog that it is so full of one’s own importance that it may well be considered as bragging. See most celebrity blogs for examples.

Stattering: Clicking on your stats so much that it becomes an affliction.

Going postal: Ever just written the best blog post ever and Blogger posts an error message as you click “Publish”. Well the hysterical acts of violence to your computer as a consequence are known as “going postal”

Schlurking: Not commenting on someone’s blog cos you are a pussy and frightened of the human interaction that might ensue.

Cummenting: What the readers of sex blogs do.

If you can think of any more (they don't have to be blog related) then you know where the comments box is...

See you in a couple of days after I've drained all Jock's booze cabinet.