The Seventeenth Groanin' Jock Lyrical Challenge

My blogging has been very erratic over the past couple of years, for a multitude of reasons.

So erratic in fact that the last time we had a Groanin' Jock Lyrical Challenge was back in September 2009.

Way back then, Cedric M. Kippers (now no longer wandering the blogosphere) identified three of the five tracks and Kenfitlike spotted one.

The answers are now in the comments on that post.

So without any further ado, here is the Seventeenth Groanin' Jock Lyrical Challenge. Simply name the artist and track, post your answers in the comments, no Googling.

1. I don't know if I'm up or down, Whether black is white or blue is brown.

2. Take off your disguise, I know that underneath it's me.

3. Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash.

4. I can see that light surrounds me, I want you to show me round.

5. Such a melting pot, on the corner selling rock, preachers pray to God.

Hello, I Love You

I've been committing that worst of bloggy sins over the past few weeks, months and years - neglect.

For various reasons, some of which I may blog about and some of which I won't, I haven't had the motivation to post my inane and semi-coherent nonsense to the worldwide interweb as often as I once did.

And further disgraceful behaviour has also seen me neglect those far-flung corners of the blogosphere where I was once a regular visitor.

I have decided that the time has come to right these wrongs and attempt to restore my browsing habits to their former glories.

And if more than 10 people want to read my barely-literate ramblings in the process?

That would be most welcome.

Breaking News

Groanin' Jock, bringing you all the important things in life - Scottish pussy (apparently), Montrose Football Club and pictures of John Terry.




(Click on the picture to bigify it if necessary.)

Return Of The Mark

It's been a good long while since I actually wrote anything worthwhile on this farflung outpost of the worldwide interweb.

(Some might say I've never written anything worthwhile on this farflung outpost of the worldwide interweb, and they'd probably be right.)

For far too long now, all I've been posting here are links, photographs and videos that amuse or entertain me.

I'm not entirely sure when the rot set in. I've just had no inspiration to put pen to paper (or fingers to keys) and write anything here for a few months. It's not from lack of potential material - in the last few weeks I've been to London, Bute, Oslo and Inveraray. I've seen a sensational performance of Waiting For Godot starring Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart. I've stood on the roof of St Paul's Cathedral. I've been the to the top of Besseggen. I've sung Elvis songs onstage at a wedding reception and Pulp songs in a Rothesay pub.

But for some reason, none of this has tempted me into adding new posts here. Maybe because I spend a long working week writing, I can't be bothered firing up the laptop and churning out more tripe.

Maybe I'm like Austin Powers and simply missing my mojo. I've long harboured ambitions of writing a novel, but every idea I have seems already to have been done. And if I can't write a couple of hundred words as a blog post, what hope do I have of writing something more substantial?

So I guess that I should start with baby steps - actually writing real posts here instead of simply posting photographs of people taking the piss out of Neil Lennon.

I very much doubt that anyone is still checking in here at all - if I can't be bothered stopping by, I doubt anyone else is. So I may be writing this to myself. But hey, baby steps....

You Want To See WHAT?

I've posted fairly frequently in the past on the Google search terms that bring you strange denizens of the worldwide interweb to this far-flung outpost.

Two strange search queries directed punters this way earlier today (click on pictures to make them bigger):

First up, "sniffing sweaty jock cups". Beautiful. Just beautiful. Well man, whatever gets you off...
Then, perhaps even more disturbing:

Seriously, why would anyone want naked pictures of Ian Durrant? This search term has actually popped up here before.

You're a sick bunch....

New Arrivals

It's always interesting to see what brings the strange denizens of the Blogosphere to this far-flung outpost of the worldwide interweb.

The selection above from the past day makes for enlightening reading. Two people looking for pictures of John Lennon's beard; someone searching for the world's best name; another looking for the world's scariest name.

But my favourite is the person looking for "Disney midget" - they must be in the market for one of the seven dwarves.