Season 2014/2015: Match 8: Montrose 3 Albion Rovers 4 (The Scottish Professional Football League Two)

I'm sorry.

It was my fault.

With the stopwatch showing 92:30, I turned round to my press corps colleague and said: "This is the first time I've seen Montrose pick up a point this season."

Thirty seconds later Albion Rovers scored their winner.

I should know better.

(So should my press corps colleague, who celebrated Montrose taking a 2-0 lead inside 20 minutes as if Montrose had just won the Champions League.)

As performances go, this was almost as good as I've seen Montrose in a long while. They were ahead after six minutes when Stephen O'Neil skipped through two challenges and curled a shot in off the post.

O'Neil turned creator nine minutes later, sending the ball into the box for new signing David Banjo to turn and volley into the net.

So far, so good.

But Albion Rovers pulled a goal back in the 19th minute when a Montrose corner broke down. The visitors launched a quick counter attack, Ross Davidson feeding a pass to Mark McGuigan, the striker firing past home goalkeeper Stuart McKenzie.

Marvin Andrews, potentially the religious saviour Montrose need to drag them clear of relegation and oblivion, was the furthest forward Montrose player when the goal was scored. An attacking threat he may be at corners, but the team needs to defend better, and in numbers, when Andrews is acting as auxiliary striker.

Rovers equalised in the 31st minute when McGuigan sent Gary Fisher's cross over McKenzie's head and in off the underside of the crossbar.

Six minutes into the second half, Montrose fell behind for the first time. McGuigan's cross to the back post was met on the volley by Davidson, the ball flying back across goal and into the far corner.

But Montrose refused to surrender, and found a way back into the match in the 59th minute. Ross McCord controlled a bouncing ball on the edge of the box, powered through a challenge and flicked the ball up for Banjo. The midfielder controlled the ball on his chest before turning and lashing a shot low past Neil Parry in the Albion Rovers goal.

Although they looked to have done enough to secure at least a draw, Montrose were denied a share of the points in the cruellest of fashions.

Three minutes into second half stoppage time, substitute Thomas McCluskey, who appeared to be offside, beat Marvin Andrews deep in the Montrose half. McKenzie managed to get a touch on the shot, but it wasn't enough to prevent the ball rolling over the goal line to give Albion all three points.

For a Montrose team missing Paul Watson, Terry Masson (is he injured?), Stephen Day and Leighton McIntosh, this was an astonishingly coherent performance, and one that deserved at least a point.

New signing Banjo was a revelation, and O'Neil showed great flashes of ability and creativity, begging the question why he hasn't been given more opportunities.

But on the negative side, Adam Harwood looks well short of the required quality at centre back. While he's young and mobile enough to be a useful foil for the elderly and cumbersome Andrews. But where Andrews tends to exude a modicum of calm thanks to a masterful reading of the game and great positioning, Harwood frequently looks panicked and error-prone.

The problem is that, when he was substituted, his replacement was Alan Campbell, which immediately reduced the pace of the centre backs to dangerous levels.

While it's never going to happen, if Andrews is deemed a serious goal threat, I'd swap him and Garry Wood, putting the skipper at centre back and Andrews up front as a designated target man.

Montrose were definitely worthy of a point yesterday. But the blunt fact is that they've only won five times in 22 league matches this season - only once since September - and if the teams below them win their games in hand, they're rock bottom of League Two.

From what I can see on the park, it's not a case of if Montrose are relegated, it's a case of when. If they somehow survive this season, I don't anticipate them being able to compete with whatever team comes up from the Highland League or Lowland League.

Without urgent and significant changes to the way Montrose Football Club is run and plays, I fear for its existence.

Man of the Match: Stephen O'Neil had a strong claim, scoring one and creating another in a lively attacking performance.

But David Banjo had a barnstorming debut, scoring twice with a pair of great strikes, and generally making a nuisance of himself throughout.

Season 2013/2014: Match 10: Montrose 2 Albion Rovers 1 (Scottish Professional Football League Two)

Could the playing and coaching staff of Montrose FC please consider alerting paying punters if, in future, they intend to cram all the interesting bits of their match into a five-minute spell in the second half.

That way, those of us who aren't always blown away by the avant-garde performance art of Messrs Crawford, Deasley, Johnston and Campbell can find something less arse-numbingly dull to do, then turn up for the good bit.

Today's match turned in a chaotic five minutes early in the second half when Albion Rovers - who have ditched their Melchester Rovers strips for Spanish national team knock-offs - took the lead through Gary Philips' header at the back post.

That lead lasted two minutes, Bryan Deasley taking a break from shanking wild shots wide of the target to send a square ball to Scott Johnston, who poked the ball into the net from two yards out.

The home side then took the lead a further two minutes later, Terry Masson applying the finishing touch to a smooth passing move involving Deasley and Gray.

Montrose also had two headers cleared off the Albion Rovers goal-line, and by the end they were feeling so confident that Jonathan Crawford decided to take a wander to left back, dropped his shoulder, cut outside the Albion Rovers right winger and pinged a 45-yard pass down the touchline. It may prove to be the high point of his career.

The second half of the second half (fourth quarter in Americanese) was possibly as good as I've seen Montrose play all season. But nonetheless, someone sitting near the back of the stand called for Stuart Garden's resignation on the final whistle.

Up to sixth in the league, only five points off the play-offs? I must not be optimistic...I must not be optimistic...I must not be optimistic...

Man of the Match: There were two stand-out performers in my opinion - Scott Johnston and Stuart McKenzie. The striker scored one and gave a typically hard-working performance up front, but the goalkeeper kept Montrose in the match with a series of point-blank saves and generally strong command of his box. He also picked up my vote for player of the season in today's poll.

Season 2013/2014: Match 3: Montrose 2 Albion Rovers 1 (Scottish Professional Football League Two)

Attempting to leave Dungroanin' for the sub-Arctic environs of Links Park this afternoon, I was accosted by Little Jocklette, who at the age of two and a half is now chief overseer of everything that happens in our lives.

Little Jocklette: "Where are you going Daddy?"

Groanin' Jock: "To the football."

LJ: "My coming too" (this was phrased as a statement, not a question).

GJ: "I don't think so. It's cold outside, and I'll be there a long time, and you can stay here and watch Dumbo."

LJ: "No, my going to the football" (Jocklette considers the conversation finished, and begins searching for welly boots, jacket and gloves).

GJ: "No, I think you should stay here with Mummy."

LJ: (Voice coming from inside a practical if unorthodox hat/hood combo) "No, my going to the football. Come on Daddy, let's go."

Five further minutes of attempting to convince Obergruppenfuhrer Jocklette that she'd be much happier at home later (whilst also trying not to convince myself), the two of us were en route to the Basinside Bernabeu.

With the benefit of hindsight, I should have been glad to take her with me - in three visits to watch Montrose in action, she has never seen them lose. Her previous matches were a 3-1 win over East Stirlingshire (when she memorably shouted "Oh No!" when Jonathan Crawford received the ball in central midfield) and a 5-1 destruction of Annan Athletic last season.

It looked like she was on a hat-trick from early in today's match, the superb Bryan Deasley controlling on the edge of the box and firing over visiting goalkeeper Neil Parry.

But, as is so often the case when watching Stuart Garden's men in action, they seemed to hit the self-destruct button from the midpoint of the first half, frequently losing possession, defending with wild desperation, and becoming incapable of stringing more than two passes together.

It therefore came as no surprise when Mark McGuigan bundled the ball over the line in the 24th minute, the Montrose defence having fallen asleep in their own box.

From that point onwards, the home side rode their luck for the best part of an hour, only truly stepping up their level of play in the final half hour of the match. Paul Watson came close with a series of long range efforts, while Gareth Roger had a 30-yard strike tipped over.

When the Montrose winner came, it was Beasley who struck again, beating Parry with an audacious lob from 25 yards.

This was a curious match, in that Montrose were ultimately deserving winners, but could also have been on the end of a major hiding.

There are still a number of problems in the side - a lack of extensive strength in depth being one, alongside an over-reliance on Garry Wood and Bryan Deasley.

In defence, Stephen McNally continues to provide cause for concern - two seasons ago he was one of the strongest and most reliable players on the park, week-in, week-out - but now his performances are frequently erratic, with poor distribution and positioning haunting his game.

Montrose need to be better at holding onto leads, and to improve their concentration. The quality is there, and they have players who can keep the ball and pass - they just need to be reminded they can do so.

Anyway, it looks as though I will need to continue bringing Little Jocklette to Links Park - at a cost each week of a bottle of juice, a packet of Rainbow Drops and a running commentary throughout the match: "Look Daddy, a ball" "Daddy, where's the mole gone?" "Look Daddy, a bus" "My go down the stairs and play on the grass".

Still, few Montrose fans can boast a record as impressive as P3 W3 D0 L0 F10 A3 Pts 9...

Man of the Match: There were two outstanding players today. On any other day, Gareth Roger would have been my man of the match, keeping his head when all those around him were losing theirs in the 40 minutes spanning half time.

But Bryan Deasley was the best player on the park by a comfortable margin today. Not only did he score twice with majestic finishes each time, but he maintained a ferocious work rate, constantly seeking the ball and finding space to keep the Melchester Albion Rovers defence on its toes.

Season 2010/2011: Match 17: Montrose v Albion Rovers

Last week Montrose were good for 45 minutes.

Today they were atrocious for 90.

No-one enjoys sitting in a freezing cold shed and watching joiners, plumbers and assassins-for-hire playing football in a strong wind and hammering rain.

I very much doubt that the players enjoy turning up and getting paid three Haribo and a cup of warm orange juice for "playing" in those conditions.

But Jesus fuck, if you're going to charge idiots like me £10 to get in, at least make it look as though you're interested.

There were no plus points from today's performance. Not one of the players who turned out for Montrose can be happy with their contribution.

I normally reserve scant praise for the younger lads who lack the experience to know what it takes to grind out a result in those circumstances.

But every single player looked devoid of ideas. Presumably that's filtering down from the management. I don't know if Steven Tweed was telling his players to attempt to thump it long in the first half, but a surely even a schoolchild could understand that if the ball leaves the ground and is fighting against a strong headwind, you're never going to get it very far.

Montrose's back four couldn't grasp that, and it was a miracle (and the result of some extraordinarily bad finishing from Albion Rovers) that they were only a goal down at half time.

Several times this season Montrose have looked like a shambles in the first half but come good in the second. Tweed tried his usual masterplan of bringing Martin Boyle on at half time, but even his pace and enthusiasm couldn't ignite Montrose.

John "Beast" Gemmell scored after seven minutes and Scott Chaplain added a second 15 minutes from the end. Montrose never looked like scoring.

Some observations:

A) Dougie Cameron is Montrose's self-designated throw-in taker. No matter where on the left the ball goes out of play, Doooooooogie wants - no, NEEDS - to take the throw-in. The number of effective throw-ins from Mr Cameron today - 0.

B) Dougie Cameron can spin on the ball like Zidane one minute than shank a simple pass out for a throw-in 30 seconds later.

C) Dougie Cameron, like Zinedine Zidane, is bald.

D) That's where the comparison ends.

E) Playing a left-footed player on the right and right-footed player on the left doesn't work. Especially not in Division Three.

Highlight of the game for me was seeing Sandy Wood jump to catch a ball that was flying out for a throw-in. While standing in the dugout.

He nearly decapitated himself and Steven Tweed spent the next five minutes looking at his now reserve keeper with a look that said: "Now you know why I dropped you in favour of an Argentine mime artist-cum-interpretive dance master who wears white leggings, white gloves and a snood and can only kick with his left foot, even if he was previously standing on same left foot".

Says it all really when the highlight is watching a grown man bump his head.

Man of the Match: No-one deserves praise from that match. Not one of them looked like doing something worthwhile. If I was forced to pick one I'd probably go for Stephen McNally for occasionally looking like he'd played football at least once in the past.

Season 2010/2011: Match 8: Montrose v Albion Rovers

There are some matches that defy all superlatives, about which it would be possible to wax lyrical for innumerable blog posts.

And there are others, like yesterday's Montrose vs Albion Rovers encounter, that are so forgettable that it's almost possible to actually forget you're at the football while you're watching them.

Yesterday's game was crap, and not just because Montrose slipped to their first defeat in seven games.

Albion scored twice in the first half, both times with the Montrose defence posted missing. The first was from former Montrose striker John Gemmell and the second from Robert Love.

Montrose had the best of the first half hour but couldn't put the ball into the net, then let their concentration slip in the closing 15 minutes of the first half.

They were better in a boring second half but struggled to create chances. The players can have no complaints as yet again they only looked like chasing the game after going behind.

I think I can understand Steven Tweed's rationale behind always starting Martin Boyle on the bench - the young lad has pace to burn and this becomes even more apparent when he's introduced as a second half substitute as others are flagging. But he always looks the most lively player when he comes on, and I think it's about time he was given a chance from the start against the....ahem...."less mobile" Paul Tosh.

Man of the Match: A poor collective performance and no really outstanding candidates. Ross McCord was involved in most of the things Montrose tried to do right, so I'll go with the wee ginger midfielder.

Season 2008/2009: Match 25: Montrose v Albion Rovers

Exactly 10 months ago, I attended the first match of Montrose's pre-season campaign, a friendly against Dundee in which they were pumped 3-0.

A lot has happened at the club in the interim - they've had more managers than Newcastle, briefly threatened to reach the play-offs for the second consecutive season and have, on occasion, played some of the best football in Division Three.

It's all been a bit inconsistent though, and for all Montrose's pretty passing football, they don't score enough goals. But there have been indications recently that Steven Tweed is taking them in the right direction.

Anyway, today was Montrose's last match of the season, and neither they nor visitors Albion Rovers had anything to play for. But it seems no-one told the teams that, and they tore into each other at a frantic pace despite torrential rain.

The match had almost everything - three players (all Montrose) stretchered off, a nutmeg for the winning goal and Albion Rovers goalkeeper Jamie Ewings receiving a red card for a second bookable offence.

There was also a tearful farewell for Montrose winger Paul Stewart, who has been told his contract won't be renewed, primarily due to the cost of his travel expenses from the central belt.

How Steven Tweed will rebuild the side this summer remains to be seen - it's understood that the club intends to narrow its search for players to no further south than Perth.

But I am, for the moment, blindly optimistic that Montrose can challenge for the title next season. Christ almighty, if Dumbarton can win it....

Season 2008/2009: Match 14: Montrose v Albion Rovers

Last week, I suggested that if Montrose's results didn't improve, caretaker manager David Hannah would find his tenure would be very short.

In the seven days that passed between that game against Cowdenbeath and yesterday's match with Albion Rovers, Hannah fell on his sword, having won four and lost four of his eight matches in charge.

Director of football Kenny Black, father of Montrose's best player Stephen Black, took charge of the first team yesterday, and the team looked solid and dangerous.

That was for the first five minutes at least, as it took winger and top goalscorer Kevin Bradley only six minutes to receive a straight red card for kicking out at his marker. It was the second red card a Montrose player has received for that same offence in the space of two weeks.

The curious thing about Bradley's sending off was that it came with Montrose having ben awarded a free kick for a foul by the Albion Rovers left back.

So, once Bradley had completed his trudge of shame across the pitch and down the tunnel, Stephen Black whipped the ball into the box and on-loan striker Calum Smith lashed it into the net on the half volley.

In the space of 30 seconds, Montrose had been reduced to ten men and had taken the lead.

From then on, Montrose actually looked quite assured in possession, forcing Albion to rely on shots from long range to test goalkeeper Greg Kelly.

But in the second half, tired legs and the numerical disadvantage cost Montrose, who succumbed to an equaliser in the 56th minute and a beautifully-taken winner from Bobby Barr four minutes later.

I've always liked watching Albion Rovers, not because they play like Barcelona (they don't) or because I've got an emotional or geographic tie to them (I don't), but because their strips always remind me of Melchester Rovers.

Albion certainly don't have a Roy Race figure leading them towards glory, and I think a full-strength Montrose side would have crushed them yesterday. But Rovers do have what passes for a celebrity fan in the Irn Bru Scottish League Division Three, with stand-up comedian (one of the funniest men in Scotland and a club director) Pat Rollink watching from the stand as Albion moved to within five points of their hosts.

Hopefully, the latest change in leadership will be enough to rejuvenate the Links Park side. There were enough good signs on show yesterday to suggest that a run of good results is just around the corner.