The Apocalypse Is Coming

I have one phobia - I'm shit-scared of birds.

 

As it's a phobia, I know it's completely irrational and that the chances of me actually being pecked to death by a pigeon are very remote - but it's a phobia that has been with me since I was a wee boy and one that I expect will be with me until I die.

 

Given a choice between being locked in a cage with a tiger or an ostrich, I'd definitely pick the tiger. I can imagine punching a tiger. I'd be a quivering wreck long before an ostrich was within arm's reach.

 

This phobia means that I find the prospect of crows that can make tools, disassemble a fire alarm and bend wire to suit their needs quite frankly terrifying.