Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Things I Hate: Volume 1: Toilet Seats

OK, first off, I know that this blog has in the past repeatedly been about things I hate.
 
But I feel that now, as I hit my 30s and Grumpy Old Man status, it's time I began cataloguing my dislikes more systematically.
 
So, first up, toilet seats.
 
I don't hate toilet seats. Far from it. They provide a necessary service in the world, and I wouldn't want to be without them.
 
But I hate toilet seats that don't stay up of their own accord, requiring the use of one hand to maintain their upright position during non-seated toilet-based operations.
 
This is especially taxing in the middle of the night, when I'm doing my best to avoid waking up fully - taking care of business on autopilot if you like.
 
I know women feel the need to constantly fret about toilet seats being left up, so I'm assuming that the automatically falling toilet seat is a female invention.
 
And when was anything useful ever invented by a woman?
 
(Even more annoying is the potentially fatal toilet seat that lulls the urinator into a false sense of security by staying upright until the action is underway....)

4 comments:

Erica said...

The 1940s actress Hedy Lamarr invented a sophisticated torpedo guidance system, and, hello? Marie Curie?

Groanin' Jock said...

OK, there's two inventions contributed by women in the history of the world....

(Don't take my nonsense too seriously Erica...)

kenfitlike said...

'hello, Marie Curie'
I'm not having that - Alexander Graham Bell invented the phone!

palangmead said...

Use your foot to keep it up. It requires a bit of balance, but is a superior solution to the use of hands.

And yes, I do read your blog from time to time... ;)