We Are The Champions (Tonight At Least)

Dancer!

My works football team won its first match of the season this evening, recording a 9-5 victory over the only team below us in the league.

We were ahead from the first minute onwards, and never really looked like being caught. One of the opposition players was sin-binned for lashing out in the first half, and a member of our team will return home to his wife and kids tonight covered in blood, having been shoved head-first into the boards at the side of the pitch.

So, blood and sweat were spilled en route to this maiden victory, but thankfully there weren't any tears.

Unfortunately, the appearance may be my last for a few weeks, given that I'm about to have a grown man attack my feet with knives and pliers. So I signed off with a goal, either our third or fourth of the evening.

And the pleasure of knowing that a colleague who predicted we'd never win now owes all members of tonight's squad a drink.