Season 2013/2014: Match 13: Montrose 0 Clyde 2 (Scottish Professional Football League Two)

As my press corps colleagues and I departed the Basinside Bernabeu this afternoon, I canvassed some of my fellow punters for their choice of reports:


Punter 1: "What a load of shite"


Punter 2: "Pish. Pish. Pish."


I really have little more to add to those assessments. Montrose were dire today. Scarcely a shot on target. An insistence on thumping crosses into the box despite Garry Wood being carved out of granite and Kieran Sturrock making Martin Boyle look like a towering behemoth. Graham Webster in midfield. The list of complaints goes on...and on...and on...


Positives? Barely any. Montrose only conceded twice - is that a positive?


Terry Masson started on the bench as George "The Animal" Shields, caretaker managing Montrose for the first time at Links Park, selected Ross McCord and Graham Webster in the centre of the park, flanked by Bryan "Emmmm, but I'm a striker George" Deasley and Scott "And so am I" Johnston.


Even with the midfield being overrun in the second half, it wasn't the hapless Webster who was substituted, but the anonymous Sturrock. Terry Masson came off the bench and took two minutes to collect his customary booking.


Clyde looked good today - especially when we consider that it's very recently that they would arrive at Links Park and receive an absolute hammering (8-1 seems a long time ago). Their opening goal came from a surging run from Stuart McColm that, if it didn't quite evoke Gareth Bale's Copa Del Rey winner from midweek, it did rip Jonathan Crawford a new arsehole.


Their second came from the penalty spot after Colin Wilson decided to empty Stefan McCluskey in the box.


Positives? At least there's only 180 minutes of the season to go...


Man of the match: Slim pickings - even the usually dependable Stuart McKenzie struggled today. If forced to pick from the Montrose ranks, I'd reluctantly go for Bryan Deasley, who came closest to scoring for the home team and at least looked like he might like to win a football match.